sissy moan

Oooooh, i simply need to be a sissy hucow...!

2011-11-05T04:17:00.000-07:00

Just a little teaser telling Y/you about one of my most favorite professional positions: being a sissy hucow in a diary!

Of cause i would have to get a hormonal treatment first so i would grow real big tits and would start to lactate. But as far as i know this is really possible for a sissy and i would love to become feminized enough to proof this in an internet video...

But for sure i wouldn't just be used for regular milkings twice a day and every single day and at all my three nipples. At least once a month my Farmer would also mate me with real Bulls and would use artificial insemination with real Bulls' semen so He might breed little hucalves with me one happy day!!!

Milking Time at Hucow Dairy

And my next post will be about meting 'my' Goddess Rose and how i did show Her that i'm a true sissy.

Yours,
sissy moan

"Coming soon"

2011-10-29T04:27:00.000-07:00

At May the 13th 2010 the gracious Miss D condescended to publish a short post at Her blog telling Her audience about a coming post that was explicitly intended to become a very important tipping point in this sissy's life:

"Quite soon, I will be adding a post on this blog to tell you all about sissy moan's Dildoing Fetish. Recently, she asked - begged really - to make her condition - shall we say - 'public knowledge'. With her own words - "this sissy really begs You to make her dildo addiction public", she is being very clear that she wants to share her condition with all of you.

This is a big step for little sissy moan. It's not everyday that a gurl decides to make her condition, particularly an addiction to dildoing, public knowledge. But, in doing so, sissy moan is showing, by example, that a sissy can and should have a sexual nature - a sissy sexual nature.

Trust Me gurls - you DO NOT Want To Miss This.

Miss D"

Just five days before She had published a long and most interesting post about "#3, Dildoing Fetish, 494 (56%)" - the 3rd most common position in Her poll "sissy's most favorite fetish" - and as always She was hitting just the right button to send this sissy into a solid slut delirium ... only that this time i knew that i simply had reached the point to overcome all of my fears and to beg Her for my irrevocable public outing as a true Dildo and Cock loving sissy slut.

It took a short email conversation to tell Her about my very own disposition and to convince Her of my my unconditional submission and my serious desire to contribute to Her blog. And finally She accepted my pathetic begging and by posting Her "Comming soon" She made me one of Her featured sissy gurls.

Even if you might be a sissy yourself you probably can't fully imagine how excited i was when i read Her announcement and how often i looked for the promised post. Yes, i knew that by now there definitely wasn't a way back anymore and of cause i was totally afraid about the consequences - but as well i knew that this was my chance to be as true as i simply had to be and to tell the whole world what a pathetic little sissy i really am. And then just two days but probably one hundred checks later i found the following post at Miss D's blog and i knew that i had become Her public sissy for the rest of my life:

"sissy moan - a clear case of dildo addiction"

It was this post that apart from my answers to Miss D's "Humiliation Questionairy" - with 518 votes (59%) the second most common answer in Her sissy fetish poll – caused the most traffic for my own blog ever. It also caused Miss D to schedule another poll asking "dildo addiction anyone?" where 83% of the voters told that they wanted to become addicted to penetration like me, 39% simply became aroused while watching me in my addiction, 35% thought that Dildo addiction would be very appropriate for me and 13% simply wanted to fuck me - an answer that resulted in another assay about the question whether a sissy should be allowed to fuck another sissy. And from my point of view it's absolutely okay if i only can be the sub and 'fuckee'. (But in fact i still prefer to think that there have been a lot of real Men among these 24 voters who wanted to fuck me since as much as i like to play with another sissy i simply need to be dominated and taken by real Men.)

Yours,
sissy moan

PS - i really don't know why Miss D deleted Her famous Blog half a year later. Almost four and a half year She had regularly posted the hottest and most interesting articles about femming and i know from many of my sisters who would still love to kiss Her heels and to serve Her in each and every way. But i also know that i will praise Her for the rest of my life ... and this not just because it was Her post that granted me several thousands visits and became a real tipping point in my sissy career. And even if i still haven't become a sissy porn actress it is just too good to know that it was She who made me notorious as the cockhound sissy slut that what i really am.

Licking Your heels or whatever You say,
Your devoted little sissy moan

developing my true sissy self

2011-07-24T04:10:00.000-07:00

Having been counseled from this Professional Dominatrix i had to accept that She was absolutely right with Her expert opinion: No, i wasn't simply a crossdresser with an almost insignificant preference for delicate underwear and nighties. And no, i also wasn't just a little Mommy's boy who apart from his minor inclination for his Mommy could be able to live a 'normal' life...! No, i was a true incestuous faggot in fact ... a most pathetic cream pie licker and sissy cocksucker who simply had to serve both her Mommy AND Daddy if she ever wanted to feel completely contented. And i knew just too well that i had to act out my full pantywaist nature no matter how degrading and humiliating that would be!

Yes, for sure i had to survive a pretty hard time now but telling from today i have to call it really the purest luck to be without any vanilla "girlfriend" or male buddies during the following years: Being absolutely on my own once again i was free to explore all of my sissy needs and to become just as prissy and sissy as i had to be ... and i had to realize that i in fact was slopping over with even the most deviant and embarrassing perversions a sissy could find in herself.

i really can't say whether it was the accumulation of more and more perverted experiences i made, my natural deviant disposition or maybe even a long-term effect of my sissy training by Mommy and Daddy. Was it really Their well planned intention to make me a deviant sissy sub for the rest of my life? Or just a lucky synergy of my true needs and Their natural attitude? No, i really don't know. But on balance it's just too obvious that i really was designated to become a true sissy slave gurl if not a notorious shemale hardcore actress.

Pretty soon i had reached this advanced state of sissyness where i not just used to wear feminine underwear and nighties on a daily basis but also to shave my whole body including my legs and my pathetic little sissy parts to look and feel like a five y.o. sissy boy again. [... just by the way: if you need a good substitute for a bidet you should use one of these big toy bathing tube for girls dolls. That one i used was about 30 inches long made of baby pink plastic and decorated with several little plastic flowers giving it a very cute and sissy touch.]

Furthermore i began to go out in a more feminine style of clothes like satin blouses, women's pants - quite often with the zip at the backside and lacy hems - and plain pumps covering my nylon stockings or panty hoses. And matching these clothes i had changed to a more feminine hair cut so that i was able to bind my pretty long hair to a high ponytail or to wear ribbons when i wanted to demonstrate how sissy i really was.

But what was even more important with my new style was the simple fact that i couldn't hide my true nature anymore. Even if i felt too jaded to bear the inevitable attention i simply had to stand to my sissyness ... and at that time there wasn't even the word 'metrosexuality' and an obvious 'too' feminine guy like me was simply destined for being picked on as a perverted sissy fag. But while the different public reactions in the end just helped me to develop my self-assessment they didn't help me to become the well fucked sissy slave i wanted to be. So therefore i still had to search for another way to push the limits and to forward my full sissification.

Remembering my childhood and the wonderful excitement i used to get from slipping in my Mom's lingerie and jilling my clitty under the open sky - i did it in a grove nearby and between the dunes at the nudist beach - i now felt an inescapable desire to reenact this deviant behavior. So some weeks later i found myself standing on a lane in a park again being dressed in lingerie and high heels only and hiking the hem of my chemise while i was jilling my little clitty ... and to make it even dicier i had put my blouse and the pants on a bench about twenty meters away so that i simply wouldn't have been able to hide myself if someone would have come along. And only some days later i was there once again and this time i also had my nice pony tail butt plug buried in my little sissy pussy...!

But of cause this public jilling wasn't the only way of public self disgrace i was practicing now: It was that summer that i also dared to visit a beach as an "official sissy" for the first time and to slip out of my blouse and pants right in front of everybody who was watching me ... and the pure fact that i really had to show Them first my sheer lingerie and than my shaved little clitty while i was slipping into my one-piece bathing suit was so overwhelming and exciting that i was hardly able to stay and to work at my tan lines for more than ten minutes. [... and i had to spend more than twenty minutes in the stall of the public toilet to become relaxed again.]

A little bit later i visited the lingerie department of my favorite Females clothes store and asked one of the sales Ladies for some cute lingerie in my size ... and i was wearing a blouse and a matching pair of ladies pants i'd bought from Her just one day before. She seemed to be quite surprised first but then Her facial expression changed to a sneer and She asked me for my size before She really showed me some pretty panties and bras and even a lacy corsage i could wear. Being so excited that i simply had to do something i took each and every piece of underwear She had suggested and left the store as fast as i could.

my excitement and pleasure about this situation was really overwhelming and just two days later i simply felt the need to do it again ... only that this time i would have to do the next step and to ask 'my' sales Lady whether i could try the most sexy items right there in the store's dressing room...! Once again She sneered and gave me several now even more expensive and sexy items before i really dared to stammer out my sissy question:

"May i ... try the lingerie first, please, Madam? i need to see whether they fit ... please?"

It took a moment while She tried to suppress Her laughter but then She regretfully declined my sissy plea:

"I'm really sorry, sweety! But I guess it wouldn't be too appropriate if you would join Our other customers in the dressing room, would it? I'm afraid that some of These Ladies wouldn't like to be watched while They are wearing just a little bit lingerie...! But if you like you could take all of your goods and try them at home ... and if you are careful enough you might give some of them back within this week, okay? ... But you will have to give the Ladies at the register your full name and address, so we know who you are..." And this was what i really did!

So in retrospect this year between my 30th and 31st birthday was full with some of the most important tipping points of my sissy career. But on the other hand there was one and only one specific detail that i deeply regret until now: Being without any Female Superior or at least a vanilla Girlfriend i never had any possibility to get Female Hormones and to give my body the desired shape of an irrevocable feminized sex object! But if the fulfillment of my sissy longing means to become a real fuck slave and cocksucker wasn't it also just inevitable to develop my own pair of jiggling breasts and a well rounded Women's bottom? Wouldn't it be just consistent to become as attractive and sexy as a true bimbo so i would raise the sexual desire of every real Man around? Shouldn't i become a real shemale the sooner the better? Or maybe get a bilateral orchiectomy or even a full SRS so i would have a Vagina to be fucked in all three holes? But if i would get a real pussy wouldn't just this make me a transsexual? A sissy 'male' caught in a female's body...? And isn't that really an absolute wonderful idea for a deviant sissy like me?

Yes, for sure i would be pretty reluctant to lose my little sissy clitty since i really love to jill and fondle my tiny one as often as i'm allowed. But shouldn't it be the decision of 'my' Superior only? Aren't my clitty and ovaries in fact Her property? So even if She might never agree to my SRS She could lock me into one of these Frenum Chastity Tubes She knows from my Forced Womanhood Magazines. And with a self-breaking screw i would have no chance to find any relief anymore except from being anally milked and dildoed and fucked ... and yes, i'm pretty sure that 'my' Mistress would still enjoy to tease and to tantalize me just to make me aroused without end until i'm wetting my panties or diapers with sissy cream.

But what else could a true sissy have begged for if not to be marked as the sissy she really is and to know that really every true Man can see at the very first sight that she is a feminized and totally devoted servant only and far away from being a competitor for His Superior Sexuality.

So where did i stand when i met my beloved Mistress Rose who finally made me Her legal little wife, Her obedient maid and cuckold and in the end Her devoted little sissy baby?

i was seriously hoping for a steady employment as a sissy maid for being systematically forced to develop the utterly unmistakable indication of my natural sissyness. So apart from the indispensable application of Female Hormones i of cause should have to undergo a strict corseting and to take my regular sun bathes in a brief bikini or a sexy cut swimsuit in order to develop a big pair of tits matched by a real narrow waist and the typically tan lines of a Female.

Just imagine to be exposed like this ... combined with a smoothly shaved pubic area and shaved legs, a pair of nipple stretching piercings, a most humiliating tattoo at my bottom cheek, my Mistress's tag attached to the regular steel ring around the basis of my childish sissy parts and of cause a pair of shiny high heels...! Even without any further lingerie wouldn't it be absolutely inevitable then to see me as a feminized sub? And especially if i - maybe together with a genetic female sub - would be leashed and taken for a walk like a pair of obedient dogs....

Also i would appreciate to be sent out by 'my' Lady right onto a public street while wearing just a short rubber dress with long latex stockings, latex gloves and high heels but without any panties to cover my sissy parts and the large inflatable dildo in my sissy ass. Or to be taken to an exclusive lingerie store where She wouldn't just expose me as a true sissy maid but also order me to model all the lingerie items right there in front of Her and the inevitable sales Ladies...! Oh my Goddess ... i really can't tell how deeply embarrassed i would feel while being humiliated like this ... but nor how helplessly excited for being seen as the deviant sissy i really am!

So at the end i had realized that i was ready for almost each and every sexual degradation if i only could amuse 'my' Mistress ... and if She for example would like to tie me up in Japanese Bondage or down onto Her pillory so Her Guests, maybe Her own Family or even Her paying Customers could punish and abuse me i for sure would be just too glad to feel Their paddles and Rods or to be fed and splashed with Their sticky Male Cum. And of course She could also order me to wet my panties or to take Their Golden Showers or to submit to Their usage of dildos, milk pumps, rubber Pussies and every other Sextoy that might be able to enhance my public disgrace.

Yes, in the end a real sophisticated Mistress could even make me beg for my ultimate humiliation and final outing as a transsexual slave ... when She would invite all my Friends and my whole Family to watch me being taken by a huge Great Dane...!

On this occasion

2011-01-30T09:45:00.001-08:00

Dear Superior Mistresses, Masters and Bulls and of cause you dear sissy sisters,

this sissy has over 100 F/followers on her blog now ... and in fact she is deeply impressed by Y/your loyalty. Yes, she knows just too good that she isn't very fast in posting new parts of her biography.

It is not that she had lost her interest in telling Y/you the whole ridiculous truth about her true nature. And yes, she really would love to become quicker with it. But first of all she has to satisfy the needs of 'her' beloved Mistress Rose who first granted her the immense favor to make her Her devoted little sissy toy ... than Her submissive slave gurl ... followed by te devoted little wife and cucky ... and now finally Her little sissy baby.

So this sissy wants to give Y/you two things for the moment ... first some more orientation in her blog and than somthing hot for reward:

1. The professinal advice this sissy got has to be dated to June 1997. So it took place about one year befor this sissy became the property of the gorgeous Mistress Rose. Therefore this sissy will just need to explan how she began to follow the Dominatrix's advice before she finally is able to describe the four phases of her relationship with Mistress Rose.

2. Y/you all know that sissy moan has a thing for BDSM and humilation. And therefore she wants to guide Y/your attention to the videos about "Mommy" and "Daughter" at X-Hamster... It is just about genetic Girls and no sissy but Y/you will understand why this little sissy would have loved to be trained by her own Mommy just like this:

http://www.xhamster.com/movies/50758/Mom_abuses_her_daughter.html
http://www.xhamster.com/movies/50778/Mommy_spanks_her_daughter.html
http://www.xhamster.com/movies/47330/daughter_thanks_mom.html

* curtsey *

Yours,
sissy moan

Professional advice

2010-12-03T12:34:00.000-08:00

Once again i was on my own ... at least Y/you don't count my two new 'gurl friends' who - just as Mistress Elke had suggested - used to help me pretty often to find a little bit of love and sissy relieve. There is this special word that i really love since it perfectly describes my sexuality not just during this phase of my live: it is the wonderful word 'pantysexual'.

dollyanne my dearest, i just want you to know how much i regard you and your advanced sissyness. But with this word you really taught me a new term completing the older terms of sexual orientation. Sissy sexuality can be everything - heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual. But could there be any other word for somebody who primarily loves panties? For someone like me who in fact has an intimate longtime relationship with two pairs of panties? And who was even accepting Their right to govern 'her' whole sexual training?

i don't think so. But sustained by my two 'gurl friends' i began to realize that i simply had to accept my deviant disposition and to follow my sissy imagination ... no matter how feminized and pathetic i would have to become. So i began to purchase sado-masochistic magazines and to try out what i found inside [...at least if it caused me to be sexually aroused and i could do it on my own].

And the magazines where really full of the hottest and kinkiest details:

Superior Women who feel sexually excited by tying up Their submissive hubbies or submissive girls or by punishing and humiliating them in an oh so sweet but also very strict way. Professional Dominatrices who are offering Their female or sissy slaves for being abused and humiliated in each and every conceivable way. Dominant Men who are offering Their submissive girlfriends and wives to everybody who would like to abuse them as public sex objects and even to let them be mounted and bred by the Dogs of like-minded Superior ... and of cause it was always me i did recognize as the utterly feminized and thoroughly fucked subby [... ooh, i guess i must confess that i would love to meet a nice Great Danes one day].

Oh yes, it was simply a deviant sissy heaven. And with the time i found more and more attracted to these kinky things like the Asian bondage supplemented with the repeated public milking by another sissy ... and of cause i should be fed with my own sissy cream after each round of milking. Or the forced presentation on an erotic fair while i would be clad in latex lingerie and fixed to the stage with a big anal plug pillar ... and while i would have to play with my poor little clitty right in front of all these cameras i would have to tell the audience what an ridiculous and hopelessly incestuous little pantysexual i am. And last but not least the attraction of clinic sex where i would be cleaned with a big enema and fixed to a gynecological chair before i would be examined with a speculum and made to receive just a whole bunch of real Men anally. Not to mention the usage as a sanitary item where i would chained to a urinal to get golden showers from both Men and Women and to be forced to lick Them dry and clean after it... [Just by the way: there is a gorgeous description of a 'baptism ceremony' where a sissy is inducted to the position of a slave gurl for a whole group of young Mistresses in the fabulous book "Sisterhood of the Institute" written by Maria del Rey.]

But there was one type of porn that used to touch my sissy soul so deeply that i simply had to buy almost every magazine i could get and to make every step to become just like these porn actresses i could see: this of cause was the very special field of transsexual porn were i saw the most beautiful and feminine shemales behaving like total sluts and voluptuous bimbos...!

There were sissy 'men' who loved their panties so much and felt so feminine that they really used to take female hormones just to become their own 'girlfriends' and 'wives'. Just to mention my favorite idea: sissy hubbies who are fully controlled and consistently feminized by 'their' strict Wives - or nowadays maybe by 'their' dominant Husbands - and made to take hormones and to have augmentations so they could serve 'their' Superior's Lovers as utterly feminized sex slaves! Yes, it was really just too obvious that exactly these sissy porn magazines, books and movies finally gave me the perfect vision of my future self ... i as well simply had to get real big tits and a full asses to become a real sissy bimbo! [And at this point i have to mention the wonderful Mistress Maara. She indeed is cultivating a C3 relationship with Her poor sissy hubby 'britta' who is now scheduled to take hormones and to get real tits just for 'his' Mistress' and her Lover's amusement. Dear Mistress Maara, this sissy would be just to glad to kiss Your feet and to suck Your sissy's clit one day!]
sissy moan is training her cunt for Mistress Rose's Lover...

Since Miss D's wonderful blog and Her post about sissy moan's craving for Cock obviously disappeared this sissy wants to invite Y/you to the Chastity Mansion to have a closer look at her Dildo Training pictures.Until then i hadn't ever dared to draw the simple conclusions from my deviant tendencies but now i called a professional Dominatrix to make an appointment in Her Studio. The fact that i actually was willing to give Her my money for being sexually humiliated and openly trained to become Her obedient sex slave was i my eyes just the final confession of my feminine perversion. Of cause i simply had to slip into my feminine underwear right for my way to the Studio and so i used the railway to the next big city being already clad in my most delicate corsage, stockings, panties and everything that made me feel as the sissy i had to be. There i first strolled through all the lingerie shops and departments i could find. And since i had plucked my eyebrows to a pretty narrow curve and had used some eye shadow, mascara, a baby pink nail polish and also some pink lipstick even the most naive saleswomen couldn't have the slightest doubt that the lingerie i bought was dedicated for nobody else but me.

To make my experience even more vigorous i had shaved completely - my legs, my breast, my arms and also my little sissy parts - just to feel as smooth and naked and feminine as i could. Now there were just my light gray ladies' trousers and my silky blouse hiding my awkwardly bared condition. And then there was this steady fear that someone would take notice of my black ballerinas, my rather exposed than covered silk stockings or maybe the straps and cups of my delicate elastic body, the clips of my garters or just the thick sanitary napkin that did visibly bloat the crotch of my trousers. All this made me feel so absolute bashful that i simply couldn't think about anything else but my own pathetic sissy nature all the time: And i realized that alone this feeling was almost as overwhelming as any sissy orgasm!
after all thies milking just one poor little drop of cream...

This picture as well Y/you will find at the Chastity Mansion if Y/you'd like to have a closer look at her more explicit pictures.And then finally i was standing in the Studio right in front of a real Dominatrix and i actually had to handle this mind blowing feeling of shame and awkwardness when She was ordering me to tell to Her straightly what my most secret and deviant wishes would be! Yes, the whole situation felt so absolutely intimate that i really felt a hot wave of love and devotion flushing through my body and soul. And if i wouldn't have been far too embarrassed and sissy to ask Her i for sure would have begged Her for a steady position in her Studio at this moment ... and to offer me to all Her customers as Her obedient sissy slave gurl from now on! Yes, i really would have been just too glad if She would have seen my indomitable craving for becoming irreversibly femmed ... Oh, if She just would have decided to take the full control of my sissyness and to set me on female hormones so that i would have had to go to my own Mommy and Daddy pretty soon in order to explain Them why Their sissy 'son' would be a real shemale now and why i in fact would need to wear corsages and bras and panties on a regular basis now.

But then i was just too pathetic and sissy to tell Her! i could just stammer that i wanted to 'play sissy maid' desperately hoping that She would be able to understand the true dimensions of my needs and feelings without any further words. But the Mistress was cruel enough to deny me any cheap excuse. And so She insisted that i had to tell Her absolutely clear and distinctive that i indeed was nothing else but a pathetic little sissy and that i would need to be trained as a real slave gurl and maid of pleasure!

And finally when i had made this most embarrassing confession She just laughed at me and told me:

"Do you see sissy? It's so easy! And from now on you won’t hide anymore but you will tell everybody you are getting to know about your true sissy nature ... and that you are craving to feel a real Man playing with your little sissy pussy to be really happy!"

To tell the full truth there wasn't very much further since being a poor student i simply wasn't able to pay Her full price. She still offered me to cuddle with Her (female) maid - who by the way was a pretty sweet girl. But since i had hoped not just to be treated as but in fact really turned into Her steady sissy slave it simply wasn't enough to be fondled by a Her maid. So i just kissed Her heels once more and begged Her to send me away in order to jill into my sweet panties again. And that exactly was what She did.

On my way home - still dressed as a pathetic sissy - i began to think about the new lesson i had been taught: Why i hadn't dared to ask Her for this position as Her new sex slave? Hadn't it been what i always had wanted? To be humiliated and thoroughly fucked not just by Herself but also by all of Her clients who wanted to abuse an utterly demaled sissy sub? But on the other hand ... hadn't i shown Her that i still was far away from being this real slut that i wanted to be? And why should She have wasted Her time with a wannabe sissy who wasn't even able to pay?

She was a Professional, wasn't She? So who was i to blame a Superior for my very own pathetic failure? And so in retrospect my trip to Her Studio turned right into another very important impulse that i needed to work even more seriously at my sissy skills and my ability for total candidness and submission.

* curtsey *

Thank You, Mistress Vera, that You actually gave this sissy another essential insight to find her way into total submission.

Kissing Your heels,
Your devote slave sissy moan

panties at Her party

2010-11-21T11:13:00.001-08:00

It has been quite a while since this sissy has published her last post about Mistress Elke and Kay P and this wonderful evening when she simply had to proof to 'her' Superiors what a pathetic little sissy slut she is:

"Oh Daddy ... Daddy ... please! ... fuck me ... please ... fuck Your sissy little daughter!"

Could there be any behavior more obvious? And especially since she was dressed in a sheer nighty and jilling of my little clitty like a cheap porn actress...? No, this sissy really doesn't belief so! But anyway ...

After this totally embarrassing and humiliating but also most exciting incident with Kay P Mistress Elke seemed to be pretty disinterested to have me around anymore. And while i felt the almost unbearable desire to crawl to Her and to kiss Her feet and lick Her Cum filled Temple of Womanhood i had to wait for days and weeks to get my next audience with the Goddess.

In retrospect it was an absolute appropriate proceeding for a real Woman and especially a Mistress to place me under house arrest where i had to endure the heaviest sissy ordeal. i really didn't know what She was doing during these days or even whether She would allow me to come back and to worship Her once again. And all the time i was thinking about Her being my Superior Goddess and about my burning desire to submit to Her and Her Lover proving my inferior sissy slut nature.

i definitely slid into a deep slut delirium and about two weeks later i felt so forlorn that i really presumed to call Her and to beg Her for another audience. Of cause She was pretty indignant that a pathetic little sissy like me would dare to hassle Her for a date. It would be She alone who had to decide whether we would meet again. And it would be my obligation as Her sissy to be pretty and prepared and to wait for Her call! But just by chance She would plan something for Her friends ... and if i so dearly would wish to see Her She would grant me the undeserved favor to invite to a little party at the next weekend. So i would have to make myself neat and pretty and to slip into my best lingerie and to join Them at Her flat...!

Eight days later i was standing there ringing at Her door once again ... and i have to confess that in fact i was feeling as nervous and tremulous as i only could feel. i really didn't know what i had to expect at this party and just as ordered i of cause was wearing nothing else but one of my very best collections of lingerie underneath. Indeed i could feel the tight corsage top with the garters and the sheer stockings all the time. And my delicate pair of panties were silky and wide enough that my totally hairless little clitty and ovaries felt as if they would be fondled and teased with every little move.

It was Brigit one of Mistress Elke's closest friends who opened the door asking me to come in. And if i wouldn't have known that She didn't know i would have said that there was a strange and complacent smile in Her face ... but did i know?

Entering the flat i saw about eight or ten people standing in the hall and in the open doors. Mistress Elke obviously wasn't among them but according to the noise and the fragments of conversation coming from the other rooms i was estimating the number of Her guests - Women and Men - at about twenty or thirty persons in total.

"She's in Torben's room," and despite the fact that i of cause did know the way Miss Brigit simply took my hand to bring me to 'my' Mistress.

Then W/we came though the door and i noticed that this room seemed to be reserved for the more intimate communication ... and with this i really mean intimate communication...! Of cause Y/you shouldn't think that i could see anybody having intercourse right there in front of all the others ... but in fact there were several couples in this room not just busy with talking but with kissing and caressing each other. And i could see at least one Guy who did move His hand in His Girlfriend's panties - not to mention those Men who were fondling some Women's bottom or breasts while They were slowly dancing. And i could see at least one pretty hot Woman from Elke's sorority who was doing the same with Her Girlfriend.

And there in Torben's room next to His couch was Mistress Elke standing ... and She not just had Her arms around Kay P's neck but also His tongue between Her lips and His right hand Her under Her skirt caressing Her sweet and soft bottom.

i could feel Brigit's curious glance checking my body, my face and my corporal reaction ... and of cause i knew that She noticed the sudden waves of shame and dizziness i was helplessly exposed to.

"Hi sweety!"

With Her arms still around His body and His lips still at Her neck Mistress Elke's simple words seemed to be a public announcement:

"Hey Folks, just have a look at this pathetic little sissy worm! Here I am being caressed by my Lover. And this impotent little simply has come to watch Us and to beg even more for her utter feminization!"

And just as if the audience would have been able to hear Mistress Elke's announcement like me i could see some malicious smiles crawling over the faces around.

Mistress Elke gave Kay P another hot kiss before She turned around again to checked me up for some endless seconds:

"And ... What are you waiting for sis?" She asked ... and while She did i could see that His hand was gliding down over Her hot ass.
It took me a pretty long moment to realize that She indeed had addressed me with the word 'sis' right in front of Her guests. But despite the fact that i felt totally embarrassed by Her words and my cheeks became burning hot and red again i simply had to stay and to look what Kay P was going to do next.

Obviously Kay P's hand now had reached the lower hem of Her mini skirt where His move stopped for a moment. i knew just for sure that He now could feel the soft skin of the inner side of Her thigh. Yes, i even felt His hand touching my own sissy ass just as if this was my own flesh under Mistress Elke's skirt.

i knew that i was going to enter a state of slut delirium pretty soon if i wouldn't be able to focus onto anything else... but my fascination became even stronger when His hand obviously turned back taking the posterior hem of Her skirt with it...!

Oh my Goddess! Wow! What was He doing now to 'my' Mistress? Was He going to slip His hand into Her panties? And was She really wearing panties at this moment...?

i tried to imagine what pair of panties She was wearing right now. And every pair i could remember i felt touching my own sissy ass ... and His hand moving down in them exploring my buttocks and searching for the entrance into my own sissy pussy...!

"Hey come on sissy! Snap out of it!"

Mistress Elke's words brought me back to reality at the moment.

"Just in case you forgot: He is My friend, okay! If you need to be touched by a Man you should ask someone else, shouldn't you? That's after all why you are wearing your best frillies tonight, isn't it?"

The music in this room wasn't as loud as in the other rooms but i could see that several of Her guests did notice this just too obvious word 'sissy' ... and to make it even worse Mistress Elke actually had mentioned my feminine underwear right here in front of all Her guests! Now i really wanted to die from shame and became as hot and red as a little gurl in a Mexican bordello.

"Hey, don't worry sis! We all know about your little disposition anyway. And if you are a good gurl now I even might have a nice little gift for you...!"

With this She gave Brigit a small nod and now Her friend came over to hand me a small parcel. i knew that there where a lot of people watching me but how could i have quitted an audience with 'my' Mistress? So even if i would give Them just the next reason to laugh about me i simply had to follow Her invitation and to show Her guests what She had in store for me.

Reluctantly i removed the pink ribbon and the wrapping paper revealing a cardboard with a film window ... and right there under the window i could see some silky and lacy fabric and i didn't need to look at the label to realize the content this cardboard.

"Don't you want to show your audience what you got from 'Mommy' and 'Daddy', My sweet?"

Gulping down my very last pride i obeyed Mistress Elke's order and took two pairs of panties out of the box and presented them to the waiting guests...

"I thought a little gurly like you in fact couldn't have enough silky underwear to pander your little desire! And since you aren't my little pet anymore you might need each caress you can get, don't you?"

The intonation of Her words and the glance in Her eyes seemed to be almost maternal at this moment. And despite of the totally embarrassing situation i couldn't forbear to notice how cute and delicate these panties and the bra were ... and almost immediately i felt the need to try them on and to feel them fondling my skin...!

"Now cutie, aren't you glad that I told you to come? So even if you don't find a real Man at My party who'd like to make you His woman you will have something to cuddle with tonight, wont you? And if you take good care for your new undies and treat them with the proper respect you will have something to make love to every night!"

And with this She turned to Kay P again and left me standing there alone with this new panties in my hands and Her friend grinning at this ridiculous little sissy i am.

sissy moan has a humiliation fetish

2010-06-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

* curtsey *

It shouldn't be too surprising to the readers of Miss D's wonderful blog that fetish poll could demonstrate the fact that about 70% of all sissies have a noticeable inclination if not an obvious addiction to humiliation. And of cause it shouldn't be too surprising to this sissy's readers that this sissy moan is one of them.

According to great number of sissies craving for humiliation and the special nature of this fetish - wouldn't it be a wonderful humiliation to be exposed this way - it is pretty obvious why Miss D isn't able to present all of these gurls. So it's nothing else but consistent that She told us sissies that we should use our own blogs to humiliate our self and to expose us to the world with our fetish.

So yes, Miss D!

You know that Your little sissy moan is in a constant slut delirium. And You know that she needs to be seen by everybody who likes to have a look at her pathetic sissy nature. So probably You won't be surprised that she as well has to step onto the stage and to tell the audience about her humiliation fetish.

* curtsey *

Are you required to wear your panties every day?

Yes, this sissy is expected to wear her sissy panties all the day wherever and with whomsoever she is.

Do you own ruffled panties?

Yes, this sissy owns lots of delicate panties - sheer and lacy bikinis as well as frilly satin briefs and some control briefs.

Are you sent to the store to buy new panties when yours become tattered or stained?

Yes, of cause this sissy has to buy new panties when hers become tattered. But whenever this sissy had an accident and stained a pair she has to wash them immediately.

Are you required to hand wash all the delicates - both yours and Hers and hang them on a clothesline in the back yard?

Yes, this sissy has to take care the whole laundry including all of the panties.

Does She ask you openly in front of friends about what color panties you are wearing?

Yes, She does from time to time. And some times She did so in front of this sissy's own Mommy.

Has She put you in a very short sissy dress that exposes your ruffled sissy panties when guests come over?

She did so when some of Her Lovers came over for spending the night with Her.

Does She stuff Her cum soaked panties in your sissy mouth after a date night?

Yes, She did this several times.

Do you wearing pantyhose or a pretty garter belt and stockings under your work clothes more often than not?

If it's not too warm this sissy is fully used to wear a garter belt with stockings under her work clothes. A pair of pantyhose is just expected when she is denied to wear panties.

Has your Mistress required you to wear a bra out in public even though the straps were noticeable under your thin top?

Yes, this sissy uses to wear a bra or a bustier (with garters) quite often. When not she uses to wear a chemise or body briefers.

Does She insist that your bras be padded so that you can always have little sissy titties?

Yes, sissy moan uses to wear silicon breast forms whenever it is possible. In fact she already has been in business meetings with her sissy titties noticeable.

Would She tell men in a pick-up bar that Her sissy hubby is wearing lingerie?

Mistress Rose did so several times in the past. And five times She also went with them for a little quickie after having told them about sissy moan's love for lingerie.

Does She require you to sunbath in a bikini to make sure you get a dark bikini tan?

Yes, She has done so four years ago. But now She prefers Her sissy to be as pale as a 19th century maid.

Does She insist that you sleep in your cute little nighty every night?

Is there anything else a sissy could wear during the night? Maybe except of a cute little sissy baby romper?

Has She replaced your inappropriate male sounding name with something far more delicate and feminine?

Since this sissy's given name is Simon Mistress Rose uses to call her just 'moan' or sissy. But when this sissy was young her Mommy loved to call her maresi or maresi simone after her Aunt and Godmother Marie.

Does She refer to you with sissy endearments such as slut or bitch or pantypoof or pansy?

Yes, if the Mistress is in the right mood she calls this sissy 'cutie pie' or 'little slut' or 'baby gurl' or anything like that.

When out for dinner, has She used your feminine name in front of a waiter?

Yes, She did this several times and She probably will do so in future - but only when the waiter is a cute girl or a very virile Man.

Has She told friends how feminine you are when you are present?

Yes, She does so pretty often no matter whether these Friends are Female or Male.

Does She show Her friends pictures of you in your best frills or post them on the internet?

Yes, She posted sissy moan's pictures in the internet and showed them to Her Lovers. But these have been very explicit pix and sissy doesn't know whether She also showed them around to Her close Female Friends. According to some hints there might be one or two of Them who have seen them as well.
Has She insisted that you get all pretty so She could take you around the neighborhood for introductions?

No, She didn't. This sissy feels really sorry about that but she has to accept that it might be bad for Her reputation if Her sissy would become too notorious.

Is She pleased with you when you beg for Her help to become more feminine?

Yes, the Mistress appraises this sissy's striving for femininity as a clear indication of her total submission.

Do you look through Women's catalogs together to keep you up on the latest styles?

Usually the Mistress just hands Her Women's catalogs down to this sissy but She loves to browse through fetish catalogs together with her.

Do you put on your own make-up?

This sissy has been taught to put on her own make-up from her Mommy when she was still a young gurl. So of cause she is used to do it herself.

Has She put you on a diet and started your corset training?

Yes. Some years ago the Mistress brought Her sissy to the Transformation Shop next to the Euston Station, London, where She watched the Ladies making her parade in different corsets and panties. Unfortunately She wasn't interested enough in this kind of feminization to let this sissy's corset training be more than an occasional play this sissy didn't develop the desired wasp waist.

Does She insist you keep your nails filed and polished?

Yes, She does. But this sissy has to confess that she uses to wear clear or pink polish most of the time.

Do you go to the salon for manicures and pedicures?

No, this sissy didn't go to a salon until now. But she hopes that she will have the opportunity soon.

Do you have your very own closet filled with your gurly clothes?

Yes, of cause this sissy's gurly clothes are filling an own closet as well as two dressers filled with gurly underwear. Delicate lingerie is in fact the only underwear she's allowed to wear for several years now.

When you get home from work, are you required to immediately change into your gurly clothes?

Yes, this sissy is expected to slip into a dress as soon as she comes home. But usually she has to change again at 10 pm to spend the rest of the evening dressed in her lingerie and a sheer peignoir or in her regular baby doll nighty already.

Does She generally drive the car when you go somewhere together?

Yes, the car is definitely Her territory.

Does She like for you to carry Her purse when you are shopping together?

Yes, of cause. Being a true Mistress She doesn't need to carry anything herself.

Does She give you an allowance that you may spend only on your gurly things?

Yes, this sissy has a particular budget for her gurly things. But still she has to give a detailed account to the Mistress why she did buy this or that.

Does everyone that you deal with speak with Her - not you - when completing a transaction?

Yes. It is the open role allocation in O/our relationship that She alone decides about the usage of the family income money.

Are all your possessions in Her name?

Yes, of cause - the Mistress must be free to make every important decision without even telling Her sissy about it.

Did She have your ears pierced yet?

Yes, kind of. In fact this sissy had both ears pierced by her Mommy dearest when she was a little gurl. But Mistress Rose thinks about this as an appropriate sign for a sissy so otherwise She for sure would have ordered her to have her ears pierced as soon as possible.

Has She given you a little reminder of your purpose by writing it on your body with indelible ink?

Yes, She wrote nasty statements like 'sissy slut' and 'cunt' and 'cocksucker' on this sissy's body several times. But it was particularly meant for Her Lovers comfort and amusement.

Do you have a tattoo marking you as Her sissy gurl?

No. At least until now this sissy has just a neutral tattoo. But she would love to get a real humiliating tattoo marking her as Her obedient sissy maid and fuck toy.

Has She shown anyone how red your behind gets after a hard whipping?

Yes, She did show this sissy's red derriere to Her Lovers, to Mistress Beate - Her closest Female Friend - and also to two of Her gay Friends.

Has She had your nipples pierced?

Not until now - but She pretty often talks about doing so. And this sissy loves the idea that it might be just a matter of time until she will have to show this sissy marking as well.

Do you wear a necklace, ankle bracelet or other feminine jewelry to mark you as a sissy gurl?

Yes, sometimes a necklace but more often an ankle bracelet.

Do you do all the housekeeping?

Yes, of cause this sissy does. It's the usual duty of a good maid, isn't it.

Do you do all the cooking?

Yes, as long as it is for the regular meals. But whenever Mistress Rose likes to cook something special this sissy does all the preparations like peeling and cutting and of cause also the serving and the cleaning after it.

Do you do all the grocery shopping?

Yes, this sissy is used to take care of all the basics household duties.

Have you learned to sew?

Yes, this sissy has learned to sew panties and nighties and even complete dresses.

Do you own a maid's uniform?

Yes, and this sissy is too happy that in addition to her usual black waitress dress she now was allowed to order a new very frilly Barbee Maid's Uniform from the Birchplace Shop.

Have you been sent grocery shopping in your maid's uniform?

Not until now but this sissy hopes that this will take place very soon.

Are you dressed in your most prim and proper maid's uniform for serving guests?

Yes, this sissy is used to wear her waitress dress while servicing Mistress Beate or one of Mistress Rose's Lovers. And she already has been told that from now on she will have to do so in her new sissy maid's uniform.

Has She rented or just given your services as a maid to Her friends?

Yes, this sissy has been given to Mistress Beate to take care for Her needs. But the most bemusing situation was when the Mistress lent Her sissy to Her gay friends for helping Them out at Their 6th anniversary evening.

Has She put you in the frilliest of your frills - made you into a pretty little sissy ornament for Her guests?

Yes, She did this several times while having different guests.

Have you been taken for a walk around the block or been sent to the store to buy tampons in your gurly clothes?

Yes, this sissy has indeed been taken for a walk around the block by Mistress Rose but she wasn't wearing her dress but some of her lingerie only - and she was attached to her clitty leash ... And yes, she as well has been sent to the store for buying tampons, sanitary napkins and vaginal lotion while wearing a gurly blouse, a pair of panty hose and hot pants.

Has She taken you shopping for heels and had you try them on in the store?

Yes, She did. Of cause this sissy also buys new heels from some website but she also loves to browse through the shelves of a real store and whenever she or the Mistress sees a cute pair of heels or pumps or high-heeled sandals she has to try them on right there and then.

Have you been told to sit quietly and play with your dolls while the adults talk?

Yes, several times when the Mistress wanted to have an intimate talk with one of Her Lovers or Mistress Beate.

Has She ordered you to drop your panties so Her friends could see how incredibly small you are?

Yes, this sissy had to drop her panties and to show her tiny clitty to most of Her Lovers, some of Her Female Friends and also to these two of Her gay Friends.

Have you been ordered to reach inside your panties and rub your clitty to a cum in front of Her guests?

Yes, from time to time this sissy had to do so in front of Her Lovers in order to show Them how pathetic this really sissy is. And to tell the full truth sissy moan would love to get this order at a big party and to proof her submission right in front of all Her Guests... (blush)

Does She insist that you sit when you pee?

Yes, of cause. For a sissy this is the one and only way to use a toilet. But the Mistress likes to remind Her sissy on this rule when Her Lovers and Friends are around.

Do you have to ask Her permission to pee?

Yes, but only if Mistress Beate or these two gay Friends are visiting Her. If She is with Her Lover or alone with Her sissy She prefers to be undisturbed by this sissy's basic needs.

Does She demand that the bathroom door remain open when you pee so that She can be sure you won't be touching yourself inappropriately?

Yes, although She knows very well that her sissy wouldn't ever be able to become aroused enough for getting even a noticeable stiffy within minutes. Therefore Her sissy would need to feel a big dildo in her sissy cunt and around twenty minutes for stroking her clitty with a pair of panties. But the Mistress loves to know that Her sissy feels totally controlled. And especially if Mistress Beate is there to watch her total submission.

Has She filled you full of water and then not allowed you to go to the bathroom until you wet your panties?

Yes, She did several times.

Has She taken you out into the yard on a leash and let you squat and pee like a pet?

Yes, kind of ... but if Y/you'd like to read more about it Y/you might visit this sissy's other blog at http://sissymoan.sensualwriter.com where she told the details about her clitty leash.

Does She put you in diapers?

No, but this sissy hopes that She will do this pretty soon. At least She had ordered her to buy a Satin Adult Baby Romper - lockable and with a rear hole - including all paraphernalia…

Do you lick Her clean after She pees?

Yes, this sissy loves to do so as often as possible.

Have you been used as Her toilet?

Depends on the nature of Her calling. In fact She sometimes likes to grant Her sissy the favor to get some champagne or a nice golden shower.

Does She refer to your dicklet as a clitty?

Yes, of cause She does. Anything else would be misleading, wouldn't it?

The first time you put your panties on in front of Her, did your clitty swell up?

Yes, for sure! But not enough to build a noticeable bulk since this sissy isn't able to become stiff without rubbing her clitty very concentrated and for quite a while … not to mention the Dildo she also needs.

Does She remind you of your lack of size and your 'hair trigger' each time She goes out on a date?

Yes, She uses to remind Her sissy of her tiny size to make sure that she doesn't have any illusions about the indispensable necessity of Her cuckolding. And also She loves to remind her about the basic fact of her sissyness: Even if this sissy might be able to produce a little stiffy she still isn't able to keep her clitty stiff for longer than just some seconds. Since then sissy moan either becomes flaccid or she needs to spurt into her panties immediately. So might this sissy be allowed to call this her 'hair trigger'

Does your clitty drip and soak your panties when you feel humiliated?

Yes, if this sissy's humiliation continues for days and weeks and it isn't allowed to find any relief.

Has She told you that the smooth front of your panties fit you far better than men's briefs?

Yes, pretty often.

Are you kept in chastity?

Yes, but She doesn't need any device to do so. On the one hand She has the full control by just this sissy's total submission. And on the other Her sissy is almost impotent anyway.

When She does unlock you, do you find yourself on edge - ready to cum, as soon as the cage is released?

This is a very appealing idea for sissy moan but unfortunately pretty inapplicable considering this sissy's obvious abilities…

Do you get excited knowing that She holds your key and there is not a thing you can do about it?

Yes, this sissy would feel very excited by this idea but of cause she wouldn't become stiff.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night with painful swelling in your chastity because you have been teased and denied for days on end?

Yes, kind of. In fact this sissy isn't able to find sleep rather often. If she feels too aroused she uses to wake up a lot of times suffering for any kind relief. But it is then that she finds her very best ideas of her further submission and sissyfication. And the Mistress uses to be very amused if this sissy comes with a new idea and the urgent request for her own humiliation…

Do you find yourself begging and pleading for release - promising to do anything She requires of you?

Yes, of cause. Such a pathetic behavior is the usual expression of sissy moan's most desired state of mind … being completely and utterly in the deepest slut delirium...!

Does She pull down your panties and give you a good spanking when you need it?

Yes, as often as the Mistress tells Her sissy that she need one. And from time to time without any reason but for Her amusement.

Does She spank and whip you until you cry which makes your mascara run down your cheeks?

Yes. Sometimes She doesn’t stop before this sissy is in tears and her derriere is as hot and red as the hell.

Does She make you promise to be a good little gurl after a spanking?

Yes, this sissy has to promise to be a good gurl after each spanking ... no matter whether she is alone with the Mistress or right in front of Her special Guests.

Have you been used as furniture or been left bound in an uncomfortable position for hours because you failed at a simple task that any gurl should be able to do quite easily?

No, this sissy hasn't. But she likes the idea that she could be used as the helpless sissy frame under a glass table.

Does She send you to the corner for a time out, even in front of other people?

Yes, from time to time.

Has She dressed you like a whore and made you stand out on the street until She decides you can come back inside?

No, not until now. But wouldn't it be a proper usage of her Cock and Dildo addiction if the Mistress would decide to make her a real bitch and to earn money with her irrevocable deviant sexuality?

Has She made you lick your cum off Her after you had a little accident?

Yes, of cause! This sissy isn't allowed to maculate Her perfect Womanhood with her sissy cream. And she is expected to lick up and swallow all of her cream every time she is allowed or dares to cum she for sure must clean the Mistress as well. So she is used to lick her cream from Her hands or feet - but she has to confess that she really would love to spurt over Her mound of Venus just once ...

Does She order you to worship Her well fucked pussy after a good fuck date?

Yes, of cause. That's why She has made this sissy Her legal wife und Her obedient sissy cuckold right after it!

Does She like your tongue on Her clit when She is getting fucked by a real cock?

Yes, very much! And Her sissy loves to watch Her Womanhood when He is gliding in and out. And this sissy really, really loves if He is expected to come outside of Her Pussy so His Sperm is spurting right into this sissy's face...

Has She trained you to suck cock for Her?

Yes! Knowing very well that this sissy began to suck Cock when she was young the Mistress didn't hesitate to offer her red painted mouth to most of Her Lovers.

Have you begged to be allowed to suck Her boyfriend's cock hard for Her?

Yes, the Mistress uses to make Her sissy beg for permission so Her Lover can see how utterly demaled Her sissy obviously is.

Does your little clitty get all swollen when you suck cock or even when you are thinking about sucking cock?

No, considering this sissy's obvious impotence her clitty doesn't get stiff. But yes: whenever she just thinks about the taste of a big Cock or how He might feel while penetrating her body orifices she's in her slut delirium in a blink - not to mention her arousal when it becomes real.

Does She remind you to refresh your make-up after you have finished licking up all the cum that was splashed all over your sissy face?

Yes. To be as feminine and attractive as possible a sissy should be properly made up all the time.

Are you dildo trained?

Yes, of cause! This sissy in fact is totally addicted to Cocks and Dildos because of her long and intensive training.

Has She locked your plug in you so that you could get fucked all day long?

No, not until now. But this sissy would love to get a Neosteel Chastity Belt with rear hole. And recently this sissy has begged the Mistress for a pair of Dildo Panties she would have to wear the whole day.

Have you been sent to the adult store to buy your own dildo?

Yes, and always along with some lubricant and some feminization magazines like 'Forced Womanhood' or 'Enslaved Sissies and Maids' so the sales Ladies knew for sure that she herself was the intended user.

Does your clitty swell when you are penetrated?

Yes, a little bit - but whenever this sissy is penetrated by anyone or anything she uses to feel much more aroused than the condition of her clitty is able show.

Does She fuck you with a strap-on and make you moan like a whore for Her?

Yes, this sissy really wouldn't be able to conceal her excitement when she feels Mistress Rose's strap-on working in her sissy cunt.

Has She let Her boyfriend fuck you?

Yes, and She made this sissy very, very happy with being His totally devoted fuck toy.If Y/you like Y/you might read "my first bareback" at the Club Sissy.

Are you only allowed to cum by milking?

No, until now this sissy isn't subjugated to a real milking schedule with a regular milking place and a explicit milking routine. But from time to time she gets Her permission to rub her clitty and to cream into her panties, a small glass bowl or her own feeding bottle. And since she definitely needs to feel a Dildo in her sissy cunt for doing so she would be just too glad if she would become Her regular milkee.

Does She give you spoiled orgasms?

Yes, the Mistress uses to spoil about ninety percent of this sissy's orgasms.

Do you have to earn the right for a sissy cummy?

Yes, but still this sissy's cummy isn't a right but just a favor.

Does She insist that you wear a condom for sex with Her but never asks that of Her boyfriends?

No… of cause Her steady Lovers use to have sex with Her without any protection but since Her sissy isn't allowed to have sex with Her at all she as well doesn't need to wear a condom!

If She allows you to watch porn, is it sissy gurl porn?

Yes. But since She thinks that Female Porn Actresses are perfect role models for this sissy She also uses to count movies like 'captured beauty' by Andrew Blake to this category.

Have you cum while watching your Mistress being fucked by a real man?

Yes, and this has been this sissy's very first anal orgasms: she was clad into her lingerie and bound to a chair to watch 'her' Mistress being thoroughly fucked by Her Man. And while He did Her this sissy's big and lifelike Vibrator 'Daddy' was juddering inside her sissy cunt … it was so totally overwhelming that sissy moan finally had to cream into her panties without even touching herself…

Has She shown or told about your intense sexual excitement over your femming to other people?

Yes, to all of her Lovers, Her two gay Friends, Mistress Beate and maybe two other Female Friends.

Are you humiliated by your craving for sissy humiliations?

Yes, indeed. This sissy feels so embarrassed and pathetic for having this desire for humiliation. But also she knows just too well that she wouldn't ever be able to change her true nature. Yes, she needs to be humiliated and she knows that she will have to follow her craving into total ridiculousness.

Do you think you deserve to be femmed, cuckolded and humiliated?

Yes, for sure. This sissy uses to have the nastiest fantasies about almost every attractive Woman - including her own Mommy - but on the other hand she is not just mentally but also physically totally inadequate. So yes, she definitely deserves to be punished and treated exactly this way!

If She demanded it, would you allow your body to be altered permanently - made more feminine by implants, facial surgery, etc; even though you would still be kept as a sissy?

Yes, for sure! This sissy isn't worth to become a 'real' Woman but she deserves to be treated as the nasty sissy slut she really is. So the best way to put her on her place would be to make her a real shemale but to deny her the full SRS.

Would you agree to become a sissy whore if that was the only way you could remain femmed 24/7?

Yes, for sure! This would be the perfect way this sissy could follow her true nature 24/7.

Will you share your answers to this list with your Mistress or with the other readers of this blog?

Yes, of cause! This sissy needs to know everybody how pathetic she really is and she has an irresistible fetish for humiliating herself!

Thank Y/you all for Y/your patience and attention.

Y/yours sincerely sissy moan

* curtsey *

kissing the heels of Miss D

2010-05-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

At this point sissy moan has to make another interjection in Her blog to praise the divine Miss D that She helped this little sissy to pass the next tipping point in becoming as femmed as she should be. This sissy has begged Her for being publicly exposed with her addiction for Dildos and real Men's Cocks at Miss D's blog and Miss has granted her this wonderful favor.

But why did this sissy so submissively beg Miss D to be presented this way? To tell the full truth she really doesn't know...

But why is she writing this blog? And why is she an inside gurl of the House of Sissify for over seven years now? Is there a final answer? Maybe something like getting attention for a true but just too hidden side of her personality? Or is it just that it was right time to do so?

Who knows! But on the other hand there are some very important reasons why she simply couldn't avoid to enter this stage:

First of all she really loves Miss D's block and when she read Her post about Sissy's Fetishes #3, Dildoing Fetish, she realized that it seemed to be almost her very own path into her Dildo Addiction She was talking about.

So what could have been more appropriate then to volunteer and to show her sissy sisters as well as 'their' present Superiors what it means to go the whole way: you will become an utterly demaled and most submissive sissy sex toy like sissy moan and you will be eager to submit to every Cock 'your' Mistress or Master might show you – no matter whether you might be alone with your Dildo or with a whole bunch of Men right in front of a big audience!

The second reason was that this sissy indeed lives in a state of more or less continual 'slut delirium'. Yes, she has passed so many tipping points that there isn't any way back anymore. she simply needs to go on and she needs to know that everyone knows that she has turned herself into a true sissy slut! she already had presented herself while wanking at the nudist beach wearing nothing else but a sheer nighty, a garter belt and stockings... so it simply seemed to be a consistent step to beg Miss D to present her at Her blog.

And then of cause it is something like a duty for a true sissy gurl to stand to her sissy conditions and to give her sisters back a little bit of all the encouragement she has gotten by their examples. sissy moan has seen so many, many gurls exposing their self in sissy porn pictures and movies that it seemed to be quite natural to her to do the same. So to all those real Women and sissies who did backup this sissy with their contributions she wants to curtsey and to thank Y/you. And for all those who prefer to stay in their closets she wants to encourage you and to tell you that there isn't anything wrong with you! It is just a special kind of sexuality - and nobody should be discriminated for his/her/its sexuality if nobody else is going t be hurt.

With love,
Sissy moan

the real sissy object

2010-04-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

That situation when i had given Mistress Elke the pair of stockings, the garter belt and the pair of open crotch panties should remain the only when i was allowed to see Her in explicit lingerie and from there on She just let me look at Her in Her quite elegant and feminine but still rather plain cotton underwear. Oh, of cause it wasn't that i wouldn't tried it by giving Her a lot of quite expensive lingerie. But now She always just told me just a 'thanks' and Zachary or Torben or anybody else 'would definitely love' this new piece ...

For a true sissy fetishist like me this side of O/our 'relationship' of cause was rather unsatisfying but on the other hand i at least was allowed to think about Her in lingerie. And to tell the full truth i did spent a lot of lonely evenings with imagining Her being clad in 'my' underwear and thoroughly fucked by a real Man ... Y/you know what i mean and Mistress Elke of cause knew as well.

Yes indeed it would have been a pretty one-sided 'relationship' if there wouldn't have been O/our afternoons when i was allowed to see Her being totally nude when i - dressed as the sissy i had to be - had to service Her bald Womanhood with my lips and tongue ... [okay, in fact She wasn't really 'totally nude' most of the time. But whenever She didn't just slip out of Her panties and ordered me under Her skirt She was at least kind of nude down there and i was able to see Her Womanhood from the best position a sissy could dream about.]

And the more i tried to satisfy Her from now on the more condescending She became with my obvious impotence. So soon She began to treat me as real pervert whose one and only desire would be to slip into his frillies and to look at his porn while wanking his little peepee. And being just too consequent She as well began to address me as a transsexual and insisted that i should have to wear my lingerie all the time just to be ready if She would feel in the mood for a good and enduring Pussy lapping.

It really could have been the heaven on earths. But instead of using my sexual weakness to train me in a good and proper way to be Her obedient sissy slave it took just one good week before She obviously lost Her interest and hardly insisted on my sexual services anymore. Four weeks later i had to find out that She had started a sexual affair with Kay P a typical Womanizer from Her working place right the next day after i had submitted myself to Her Superiority by confessing all my sissy secrets. [But being Superior and absolutely free in Her decisions why shouldn't She have taken Her chance for a good old fuck relationship with a real Stud like Kay P?]

Another detail i had to learn in a very embarrassing way was that She obviously didn't feel obliged to keep my sissyness a secret. Of cause i had made Her my confession about my most intimate dreams and wishes just under the seal of absolute discretion but for Mistress Elke my shyness hadn't been any reason not to tell Kay P every little detail about my deviant desires, my inescapable addiction to sissy porn and my pathetic sissy wanking habits.

i was meant to face the truth in a very awkward way one day about five weeks after my initial submission. Her flat mates had been out for a party that evening but She wanted to stay at home with me watching an erotic movie on television. Following Her instruction i was closely shaven once again and indeed hadn't left any hair at my body apart from that thin and pretty feminine strip of hair right above my hairless clitty and ovaries. Then to 'fit with the sexy spirit of the movie' i had to be fully made up and dressed into my favorite pink nighty, a garter belt, silk stockings and a pair of 3" heels but no! panties.

There was only one big TV screen in Zachary's room so Mistress Elke ordered me to have a seat right next to Her on His bed. To tell the truth it caused a pretty strange and somehow homosexual feeling in me to feel Zachary's blanket touching my nude bottom and ovaries ... not to mention the unsure feeling i had thinking about His possible sudden return. But then the movie began and some minutes later i saw not just Sylvia Kristel aka Emmanuelle putting Her curious hand into Her panties but Mistress Elke doing the same. And while i saw Emmanuelle moving Her fingers up and down i saw Mistress Elke being even more eager giving Herself the most exquisite pleasure.

When i had been with Miss Tasha and Mistress Gunilla i had met Miss Sabine who in fact loved to masturbate over explicit porn just as much as She loved to fuck with a real Man ... and according to Their wicked words Her poor boyfriend wasn't one of Them.

To this little sissy i was Miss Sabine all of sudden got this pretty confusing and strong appeal: Not just that this Goddess obviously loved to follow Her own sexual rules only but also She seamed to ennoble the pleasure of porn - the most common source of Men's arousal and even more of an impotent little sissy like me!

But while i of cause hadn't ever dared to ask Miss Sabine whether i would be allowed to watch Her playing with Herself while looking at porn Mistress Elke didn't hesitate to do it totally shameless right in front of my eyes. And while i knew that this didn't mean that i would be allowed to follow Her example my basic addiction to all kinds of Female Lust told me to do so anyway and to risk a severe punishment nevertheless.

But then suddenly the door bell rang and without paying any attention to the confusion drawn into my face Mistress Elke drew Her fingers out of Her panties and went out to look who it was. my confusion changed into a flurry of excitement when i now heard Her saying something into the entry phone and then opening the door followed by an unknown Male voice in the hallway...

i was in a utter state of panic now: here i was sitting on Zachary's bed clad in my most embarrassing lingerie and She obviously didn't hesitate to let somebody in ... and it became even worse since just some seconds later She opened the door of Zachary's room and invited Kay P to come in!

Franticly i tried to hide under Zachary's blanket but Mistress Elke simply reached for it before i was able to cover myself: Why the hell i would act so very unfriendly and respectless? It was Her flat and Kay P was Her guest, wasn't He? So if He wanted to see me in my full sissy attire now i for sure had to be as cooperative and cheerful as a sissy should be and to show and to tell Him absolutely everything He wanted to see and to know about me...! After all Kay P would be Her Lover and as well a professional psychologist ... so yes, of cause She had already told Him about my submissive feelings and my pathetic sexuality and now She in particular had invited Him to present Him the real sissy object!

There was this unmistakable tone of a true Dominatrix in Her voice that made me utterly paralyzed at the moment. And Mistress Elke used my obvious state of shock to inform me about the unmistakable truth of my own sexuality:

Yes, i should face the basic fact of my life that i wouldn't ever be able to satisfy any real Woman with a tiny little clit like mine! So instead of searching for a Woman i could marry and love i finally should fit into my natural role being predetermined by my immutable sissyness! ... And if i really wanted to find true love and sexual fulfilling one day then i should use my eager little tongue and my soft lips to convince a real Man of my submissive sissy nature!

And then without any further resistance of this little sissy i was She simply pulled the blanket back again to present me to Her new Stud:

"Kay P, My Love ... may I introduce You to 'maresi' My personal little sissy slut and slave!

maresi, My little pet... would you please show this nice Man what an obedient gurl you are ... now!"

i almost fainted about Her words and in fact i couldn't even nod my head ... but by addressing me as 'My little pet' She in fact had used this long forgotten but still very powerful trigger Mistress Gunilla once had established in my sissy mind ... and obviously my embarrassed look was submissive enough to satisfy Her intentions. Being sure about my total obedience now She went on like a trader praising Her goods ... and without any further word She lifted the anterior hem of my nighty and laid Her hand onto my stocking clad thigh demanding me to open my thighs for His curious eyes ... and reluctantly i really did!

"... now look at her clitty, Kay P! Isn't she really pathetic...? Isn't this far too tiny to be seen as a cock? You know so well what a Woman really needs ... what I need .... so wouldn't You agree that this sissy can't ever be able to satisfy any Woman, hm? And would You believe that this little pussy really has dared to asked Me to be her Woman...? Isn't that absolutely ridiculous?!"

And then right in front of me They began to have a psychological talk about my obvious trans-sexuality, my ridiculous sissyness and all these nasty 'little' secrets i had told Her during the last few weeks:

Oh yes, as He could see i would be totally used to wear Women's underwear and nighties only ... and also to use sanitary napkins and even intimate douches and tampons like a real Woman...! And no, of cause i wouldn't even have had one real Girlfriend until now ... in fact i wouldn't even try to search for relief in a real Vagina if i could spurt my cream into a silky pair of panties instead! Yes, just into pretty panties for almost 28 years now...!

So no, my only real experience with Women would be to lick the Cum of real Men from Their Pussies... And yes, of cause i already would have licked His Cum as well! In fact just as often as He had come inside Her ... Oh yes, it's so pretty obvious that i just loved to taste and to swallow His Cum ... Yes sure, i'd be an absolute pathetic little faggot indeed...!

And even more faggot since i would dream about serving real Men with big Cocks in any sexual way! Oh yes, for sure i already would have sucked some my classmates ... and even my own little brother when i was still very young! But yes, of cause i also would love to be fucked anally as soon as possible ... No, not a real dildo ... at least until now ... but i would love to use a thick candle as a substitute for a real Man's Cock!

And then Kay P laid His hand on Her arm and signed Her to lay down onto the bed right in front to me. Silently He leaned forward and gave her a kiss at Her cheek while His hand moved down Her belly and over Her Sex and straight under the hem of Her Mini.

I was watching His advances with wide open eyes and i bite my lower lips when i could see that His fingers obviously began to move forwards and backwards between Her wet Pussy lips. Soon it was written in Her face that She was ready for the next step and it seemed to be just too natural that He now pulled Her shirt fully up and Her panties down to touch Her totally naked Sex. And right in front of my eyes He now began to carry Her closer and closer to the edge of a magnificent Climax.

His moves seemed to be very, very slow but absolutely irresistible for this gorgeous Woman i really loved. But then suddenly Mistress Elke opened Her eyes and being highly excited She whispered something into His ear. With a bright grinning Kay P's eyes were going over to me and then without turning away He silently pulled down His pants and presented me His rigid and throbbing Cock:

"This is a real Cock", Mistress Elke's teasing eyes unmistakably told me: A real Cock has to be hard if there's a hot Woman around ... and especially if this Woman is as hot and highly excited as She was!

And then She pulled Her panties down and threw them over to me to insist into the inevitable: Since i wouldn't be able to do something else but to wank into panties i should proof Kay P how much i would love to rub my clitty with some silky panties ... and for sure i wouldn't be mad if She Herself would have real Sex with Kay P now, would i...?

i looked at Them in total horror. And since i didn't show a fast reaction Mistress Elke took the initiative and began to masturbate Kay P big Cock right in front of my eyes. Deeply confused i simply had to look directly at Her moving hand around His rigid Member. And much to my embarrassment i have to confess that my little clitty began to react and to become very, very itchy and a little bit stiff.

It was so absolutely weird and overwhelming: Here i was squatting on Zachary's bed and wearing nothing else but sexy lingerie while Mistress Elke and Kay P began to have Sex right in front of my eyes. And then my true voyeuristic and exhibitionistic nature took over and without any further hesitation i really began to fondle my little clitty with Mistress Elkes pretty panties.

Just some minutes later He was on top of Her and i really could see His big Member gliding in and out of Her wonderful Pussy. i felt almost as hot as if i was watching a porn movie - only that i could see really every little detail of Their hot Sexes and hear every little smack and pant of Their act. But also i could feel the wetness of Their working and sweating bodies and i could smell Their sweat and fluids.

Oh yes, yes ... i really had lost all my natural inhibitions of showing Them the most intimate reality of my true sissy nature ... and i really would have loved to shoot my cream right into these wonderful pair of panties ... but i as much as i needed to do so i simply wasn't able to perform even this pathetic act of sissy behaviour. And the more i tried to concentrate on Their uninhibited corporal pleasure and the more i stroke my clitty with Her panties the softer and weaker and smaller it became.

Desperately i was gazing right at this point between Their legs where Their bodies were merged in Their mutual lust. And i tried to imagine that it could be me who would be allowed to touch and to taste and to penetrate Mistress Elke's magnificent Pussy. But the only pictures that really came into my mind was that it was me who was laying under Kay P receiving His big and wonderful Cock in my own little sissy pussy...

i had been a sissy my whole life. But three years ago i had to learn from Miss Gunilla then that i wasn't just a matter of my sexuality. i had to learn that in my case being a sissy was a matter of social relationship. i simply wanted to be as close as possible to my Mommy and as close as possible to my Daddy as well. And now, in this very moment when i watched Kay P mating 'my' beloved Mistress i suddenly realized that i didn't wanted to fuck Her. No, i just wanted to serve Her and to be treated as a girl. And while i would have loved to have lesbian sex with Her i wanted to submit to and be fucked by Kay P so i could be with both of Them in a wonderful erotic ménage à trios.

And then, only when i imagined His gorgeous Cock gliding in and out of my own tight little sissy pussy my clitty became as sensitive as i needed to give me my so desperately yearned and now absolutely overwhelming sissy climax.

But when i looked up from my little clitty and these pair of panties i had wrapped around it, so sweet and totally soaked with my purest sissy cream, i unpreparedly looked straight into Their curios faces. And just some heartbeats later i began to realize that i not just had missed this very exciting moment of pleasure when His Cum had spurted deep into Her hot and waiting Womanhood. i also had been watched by both of Them giving myself the most intimate sissy pleasure. And i had been calling out loud what i had thought to melt into my most submissive feelings of lust and devotion:

"Oh Daddy ... Daddy ... please! ... fuck me ... please ... fuck Your sissy little daughter!"

* blush *

on my knees for Mistress Elke

2009-11-16T12:19:00.000-08:00

It was about one month after my 28th birthday and almost two years after Miss Ellen had lost Her interest in playing with me when Zachary - a good friend of mine – introduced me to His Girlfriend Elke. She was one of those gorgeous Women who are able to put a spell on every Man around and - maybe in addition to my notorious addiction to forbidden Love and to Female Authority in general - i really wasn't able to stand Her just a minute.

Of cause i didn't know that She wasn't very faithful in Her relationships or that apart from Zachary She actually shared Her apartment with another Men who indeed wasn't just Her former Lover but was still around for a little quickie from time to time. But now standing here right in front of Her i knew at the moment that She was a real Mistress and i knew for sure that She was able to look through my official persona and to see my whole submissive sissy nature.

i became crimson red from shame and i instinctively had to look down to Her feet when Her eyes began to examine me: Yes, Mistress Elke was a Goddess, a praying mantis and no matter whether She was Zachary's Girlfriend or not it was just too clear that now i was chosen to become Her sissy prey.

It was a matter of fact that i had to submit to Her control and i knew that it would have been absolutely useless to lie about my sissyness: of cause i would have to show Her myself in my most embarrassing lingerie and to let Her know about my true sissy nature! i simply had present Her all of my frillies and sissy shapewear, my make up and fragrances and feminine hygiene articles and also my whole collection of deviant porn and erotic toys right from the beginning! Yes, She simply should know everything so She would be able to control my whole life and to ruin me whenever She wanted!

She wasn't my Girlfriend but a dark Goddess to whom i had to sacrifice myself when i really did what i simply had to do ... and obviously She found my pathetic sissy submission amusing enough to make me Her slave and believer.

Of cause i knew that She was just granting me a favor when She simply lifted Her shirt and slipped out of Her panties before She laid down onto my bed right between all my lingerie and porn magazines and ordered me to removed my sheer panties as well. And while She now began to play with Her own Sex She told me to wank my little clitty until it would be stiff enough to be put into Her sacred Womanhood!

If Y/you have read some of my previous postings Y/you will know what was predetermined to come next: Being aroused like a horny little rabbit i as well was as nervous as a virgin on the stage of a sex club - and of cause i once again was absolutely unable to produce even the slightest erection.

When Mistress Elke just looked at me with a disparaging glance in Her eyes i knew just too well that i had lost and that at this very moment She withdraw me every right to bring my clitty into O/our sexual focus ever again! So She just ordered me to stay there right in front of Her and to watch Her bringing Herself to a wonderful orgasm. But when i tried to join Her self inflicted lust and to wank my little clitty a little bit She immediately ordered me to stop my nasty doing and to put my both hands onto my cute little sissy ass so i could give Her all of my sissy attention.

From now on She expected to see me in lingerie only wherever and whenever we met and while i had to lick Her Womanhood almost every afternoon i of cause i wasn't allowed to touch my clitty when i was with Her. That, She told me, i could do during the evenings since She was used to spend most of them with some of Her friends... And She really didn't think that it would be a good basis for our relationship if She would have to change Her habits too much.

During the following weeks She began to surprise me with little gifts like a pretty pair of panties or a bra camisole i should wear as a little consolation [ One afternoon She even a pair of sanitary panties with a full package of thick towels and a bottle of vaginal lotion i should use "to make myself nice and proper" ]. But while She expected me to wear my frillies all the time She indeed strictly refused to wear any exciting lingerie when She was with me ... and i knew that She did while She was with Her friends during the evenings!

Just like Mistress Petra Mistress Elke didn't think that it was appropriate for Her to dress up in sexy lingerie just to enjoy a useless little sissy like me. And according to this She just once let me watch when She dressed into a pair of silk stockings, a garter belt and a pair of open crotch panties that i had given Her as a present.

But when She was finally standing in front of me She just told me how humiliating it would be to wear these sluttish frillies for a useless little sissy like me! Yes, of cause it would be a perfect outfit to spent some pretty hot hours with Zachary or Torben ... and indeed She would thank me for it since They for sure would love to see Her in it. But to expect Her to wear this kind of underwear for me just to feed my mental porn would be absolutely unacceptable! Wouldn't it be already just too ridiculous if i myself would need to wear this kind of frillies to become sexually aroused?! So how could i really expect that She should present Herself like a bitch just to serve my perverted wanking fantasies?!

a sissy plaything for Miss Ellen

2009-10-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

Caused by this frightening experience with Miss Rike i couldn't do anything else but to think for months about my obvious nastiness and my own embarrassing inclination for acting like a real pervert. Oh yes, i really, really had wanted to be a good lover and for sure i wanted so very, very dearly to please this wonderful Mistress and to be as attentive and anticipating as i only could be. But as Miss Rike had taught me i indeed wasn't just incapable to act as a Man but even not good and obedient enough to act as the sissy i should have been: i obviously had been badly tricked by my XY-genes by thinking that i could satisfy Miss Rike with my pathetic behavior and that i could have earned a little bit of Her love and attention. So how could a pathetic and nasty sissy like me be worth enough to ask a Superior Goddess whether she could become Her servant after this incident?

i felt so deeply ashamed about myself now that i would have done everything for just a short smile when i met Mistress Ellen nine months later. And so She didn't had to waste a lot of energy or seduction to take me home into Her flat and to get a good Cunt lapping:

i knew what was coming next when i laid there on my back with a clitty was way too tiny and too weak to give Her the sexual relief She expected. And as soon as She noticed that i wouldn't be able to get a proper erection She positioned Herself over my head with Her back to me and carefully lowered Her full and feminine bottom to cover my face completely with Her bottom cheeks, Her thighs and Her steaming Sex.

Just for a very short moment i had the hope that She in reverse could take my clitty between Her lips but instead She began to rub Her wet and hot Womanhood over my mouth ... and with the same movement She began to press Her derriere firmly against my nose. Especially this last detail seemed to give Her pretty much pleasure as well since when i began to lick Her wet Pussy lips like an obedient sissy maid She slowly increased the pressure of Her bottom. And being totally unable to do anything else but to lick and suck Her Pussy i could feel that the tip of my nose was entering Her Anus a little bit.

It felt so very strange and humiliating to be captured in this position
but as well so absolutely right and exciting to be used by a true Superior this way: She was a Woman and of cause She had every right to use me in each way She wanted to get Her pleasure! And Her pleasure She got indeed.

Soon She was riding Her sweet ass back and forth over my face and while i really had major problems to get at least a little bit breath She reached one orgasm after the other. And finally She collapsed in pleasure and with this She pressed Her bottom and crotch so very hard onto my face that i really thought i would slip right into Her Womb...

Then it was all over and the only thought i could think was that i was just too glad to be an obedient sissy and that i had been able to do what this Mistress obviously had expected. Yes, i really was so thankful for this wonderful favor i had got that i reacted almost like a faithful female friend when She told right me next morning in a very good mood that She wanted to go to a disco this evening where She intended to find a real Man with a big and very hard Cock for the next night! And since i didn't say or even think anything against Her plan She continued to have Her sexual fun with Her real Men – and sometimes even three on a day and two at the same time – while as well She used to ride my face just as often as She wanted.

So for Miss Ellen as well my devotion wasn't a reason to feel obliged to me: i had done nothing else but to prove the submission and loyalty to Her Superior Femininity that i owed to Her anyway!

The fact that i had given all these three Mistresses Their climaxes with my tongue didn't change anything in the fact that i again and again had proven to be an impotent sissy ... just good enough to lick the slits of these Superior beings as Their unworthy and ridiculous sissy maid. And while just the purest idea of seeing something else but a cockless servant in me wasn't anything just ridiculous it seemed to be a matter of fact that i would make a very good maid to serve the Mistress and Her Lover at the same time.

So for the next two years i did nothing else but to buy to me new lingerie and cosmetics and to build up my collection of erotic magazines, films and books while i not just continued to dream about my Mommy but as well began to dream about my own sweet Daddy.

And the more addicted i became with reading stories about sissies who did love to open their lips and bottoms for being sexually taken by real big and throbbing Cocks the more i myself began to dream about being taken by a real Man ... and about being allowed to spend the rest of my life as the 'cuckold' and substitute of my Mommy and the willing sissy slut of my dearest Daddy.

Miss Rike and the little pervert

2009-09-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

According to my last post it for sure was no wonder that Miss Rike - the next Woman after my night with Miss Petra - once again brought me to my limits right in our first night. To my greatest joy and excitement She slipped into a delicate baby doll nighty and a matching pair of frilly panties and insisted to have some petting first before She wanted to go over to heavy sex. But in spite of Her readiness i again wasn't able to finish it and to penetrate Her slippery and waiting Womanhood.

It seemed to be predetermined that Miss Rike just like any Mistress before became disappointed and very impatient with my sexual performance. So i fled into the only kind of sexuality with a Woman that i had learned and went down on Her to do the best i could. About half an hour later when i had brought Her two or three orgasms She seemed to be corporally satisfied. But despite the fact that i had given Her my expected tribute to Her femininity She wasn't satisfied at all that i had done it with my tongue. And without granting me of any further word of closeness She pushed my away from Her Pussy and turned around to get Her sleep.

And there i was again - captured in my just too well known universe of helpless adoration, sexual excitement and sissy desperation. i still wanted to make nothing else but Love to Her but once more i had been dropped for being the ridiculous little sissy i was. She was still laying next to me and i was able to smell Her perfume and Her hot Sex and as well to feel the heat of Her skin that was covered with Her sheer little nighty only.

And in my total pathetic confusion i didn't know whether i should try to wake and coddle Her or whether i should cover my face with my quilt and cry like a little baby would have done. Yes, even now i feel rather embarrassed to tell about it but i really couldn't help it and i began to fondle my own little clitty just to ease my pain. And while i was silently crying and playing with myself i began to rave about the time when i had been still young and in love with my dearest Mommy and when i was making my first experiences with sissy sexuality. And with this i began to dream about my 'Mommy doll' that i 'secretly' used to build from one of my Mommy's nighties, a pair of Her stockings and some frilly panties stuffed with Her satin covered quilt...

It had been so soft and cozy and it had smelled so feminine when i had taken it into my arms and had used to rub my little clitty against it... And once, just once it really had granted me a wonderful satisfying sissy orgasm and i had spilled my little bit of cream into my sweet 'Mommy's' crotch and i had felt so wonderful and so secure that i had really been in sissy heaven.

And while i was still totally confused and fondling my little clitty there was Miss Rike laying right next to me on Her belly ... and She as well was so soft and petite and sweet smelling ... and i could feel Her oh so feminine aura that was gently touching my soul! And soon my own body and my need played me a trick and i forgot even the very last moral and good sense. Couldn't i maybe get a real stiffy now if i just would be able to rub my clitty over Her still wet Womanhood? And wouldn't She maybe appreciate my sexual attempts if i would be proactive and would begin to make sweet love with Her? And so i couldn't stand the temptation to move my body on top of Her wonderful feminine body and to position my legs between Her thighs and to rub my irresistible tingling but still soft clitty right over the crotch of Her delicate and pretty wet panties...

And of cause i was totally wrong! my sissy misdeed did last only seconds and did end in disaster. In an instance Miss Rike had thrown me off like a fury pony and She was looking at me with the wildest and most angry eyes:

This approach male chauvinism would for sure be the most dirty and pathetic act of sexual deviation that She had to experience in Her whole live! When She had given me each and every chance to have real sex with Her i had proved to be a totally impotent and pathetic sissy! And now i even would have the nerve to use Her as my wanking doll? i really should be ashamed about myself without an end! i without any doubt had failed to be a Man when She had wanted a Man ... and for sure i couldn't make this good by trying to rape Her now.

And with this She threw me out of my own bed and insisted that i had to sleep on the floor for the rest of the night. And there i should lay and think about my obvious deviation and of cause about the fundamental badness of my nature and the necessity of being punished for being such a pervert! And deep inside i of cause knew that She was absolutely right: i am a sissy and being born with my genetic XY-defect i will never be able to become a real Woman! So i am inferior by nature and for sure i have earned to be humiliated and punished for this irresistible desire to see and to smell and even to feel and to taste these Goddesses on Earth!

Miss D - an Expert in Femming

2009-09-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

* curtsey *

sissyness ... is indeed a pretty intriguing and absorbing thing.

Is it a genomic disposition or maybe a psychological imprinting? Is it a "light" variation of transsexualism where a genetic male needs to follow the feminine gender role but without the need for a full transition? Or is it a special form of fetishism where the natural need for being loved becomes "perverted" into an addiction for becoming feminine or even for being dominated and humiliated?

There might be as many answers as there are sissies around this world. But it the end it doesn't matter where it comes from or even whether we sissies are able to see and to accept our role in society: it is just the way it is. Or to say it with Miss D's words...

we sissies don't have a choice about whether we are to be a sissies or not - we simply are sissies. It's really so simple and in most cases as well pretty obvious.

Today i'm glad to say that Miss D is absolutely right: Being an experienced Superior She knows that i simply belong in frills. No excuse if there might be people around who are not comfortable with my obvious sissyness! And no matter how embarrassing it might be: i am meant to be just feminine and pretty and ultra-gurly i indeed have to do my very best to be the best sissies i can be!

Miss D also knows that by telling me to wear my frillies She is washing my brain in a pretty subtle and sustainable way. Of cause She knows that She addresses my natural desire for being sissy and submissive. But isn't She in fact an approved Authority in this? And isn't it just wise to follow the strong advise of an uninvolved Expert like Her? Isn't Her opinion much more important than any stupid reaction of people who don't understand?

So by telling me the same "my" Mistress uses to tell me Miss D confirms my sissy desire as the only norm for proper behavior. And since this matches with the wishes of Mistress Rose i'm just too eager to accept my sissyness and to become as gurly and pretty and sissy as i am meant to be!

Yes, today i know and understand. But years ago when i had been just dropped by Miss Gunilla i still wasn't able to be so clear.

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Of cause i knew that i had been a sissy all my live. And i as well was quite aware that in fact it had been my own Mommy who just loved to raise me as Her little sissy right from the beginning. So yes, indeed it was my Mommy too who was my one and only role model during my childhood. And even when i came to school and began to feel embarrassed by being seen as the gurl my Mommy wanted me to be i couldn't stop my "secret" love for frillies and to look at my Mommy as my gorgeous and shining example.

So i simply couldn't see myself from the right point of view. i wanted to be a boy and i wanted to be just like Mommy. But isn't it a pretty common pattern of us sissies that we are confused about our gender?

Is it a special variation of transgenderism when a little gurl who knows that she is born as a sissy thinks that she should behave like a boy? And had it simply been the Wisdom of my Mommy that She was able to see my inner self and to know that cute little dresses and frilly panties would be the only proper clothing for a little sissy like me?

Who knows! The only thing i know is that there has been several Mistresses after my Mommy who did grant me the favor to show me the right way. And even if i didn't dare to out myself as a sissy first each of these Mistresses taught me a special lesson i needed to find my true calling.

And with the permission of Mistress Rose - the Woman who owns me – i need to say that i adore all of Them and that i would feel just too honored if They would tell me to worship Them again as the true Superiors They are.

And for sure i have to love and to adore the gorgeous Miss D who really knows to make us little sissies even more sissy and to send us into the deepest slut delirium!

Thank You for being Superior to this sissy!

Licking Your heels,

sissy moan

a night with Mistress Petra

2009-08-30T09:38:00.001-07:00

After my experience with Miss Gunilla i tried to pretend to be a "real Man" to find a Girl that i could love and adore. But no matter how much i tried it always showed that it was absolutely impossible for me to act like a real Male and to perform any kind of a real coitus with this weak and tiny little clitty i own. Several times i found a Woman who seemed to like me a little bit and for each of Them i used to show the biggest attention and patience to get closer to Her. But whenever i found myself in Her bed later i of cause had to fight with my regular erection problems again. And despite the fact that i would have loved to act as a real Man and to have real sexual intercourse with Them my little clitty simply didn't get stiff enough to be put into Their hot and waiting Cunts.

i always had to fight a frantic fear to be outed as an impotent looser once more and to be disdained and humiliated for what i am. Being totally helpless in the unsuitable male role i couldn't do anything else but to go the one and only way i was pretty sure that i could give Them the pleasure i had promised Them as the Male i never could be. So again i resigned myself to the only role i knew and went down as Their submissive maid in order to put my face between Their thighs and to lick Their Pussies until They did reach They expected orgasm. And for a very short period this bluff really used to work:

i met Mistress Petra - the first Woman after Miss Gunilla – in a lecture at the university. And to tell the full truth i noticed Her since She seemed to be a little bit older and much more a Woman than the Girls around. In fact She was in Her early thirties and was already working as an regular Psychoanalyst while most of my fellow students were in Their early twenties and busy with their studies and parties.

i don't know whether She was just checking the talents in this lecture but Mistress Petra knew exactly what She wanted. She got me into Her bed right at the evening of our first date and soon i was busy with licking Her Pussy over hours and hours. But the moment of truth came right at the morning after it when W/e were having O/our breakfast:

i don't know whether She already had become suspicious about me since i hadn't been able to hide that i didn't got a real hard-on. Or maybe She really didn't know that She indeed described me as well. But She got to the heart of my problem right at this very first morning.

Just as if it would be a normal theme of discussion She began to tell me about Her ex-friend who had been a sissy instead of a real Man. Yes, indeed "he" had been a real pervert who used to have a big collection of feminine lingerie (oops) including a wig, shiny high heels and a short black rubber dress ... (was She talking about me?)

Besides he rarely had been able to carry out a real coitus if not She took the leading role by throwing him onto T/their bed and pulling down his silky panties to use him like a submissive slut. (O my Goddess! She was really talking about me, wasn't She?)

In fact She had felt a little bit bored that She should be in charge for him and his deviant needs but at first She had been willing to grant him this favor: After all he didn't just take care for Her whole household while wearing his pretty french maid costumes but as well he did serve Her sexual needs with his tongue as often as She wanted ... what by the way had been several times a day!

Oh my Goddess! Here i was sitting with a true Mistress who was having a lot of experiences in leading a little sissy like me! Could that really be my chance now to submit to Mistress Petra and to be turned into the sissy maid i had always wanted to become? my little sissy heart was pounding in the highest anticipation ... but wouldn't be there still a catch at the end?

And then She told me how he had made his final mistake: he had dared to ask Her whether She could stop wearing plain cotton panties and panty hoses only and whether She would grant him to slip into silk stockings and a real Dominatrix costume to spank him his nude sissy bottom and to push him his big live like dildo right into his sissy cunt...!

The pure imagination to be treated this way set me almost into a slut delirium but i knew that this would stay a fantasy. By begging Her for being treated as the true slut he was he had violated Her secret rules of T/their Mistress and sissy maid relationship. And with this She had enough of his fetishism and perverted desires and dropped him at the very same day. And obviously it had been just a simple act of mercy that She hadn't thrown him out of Her flat dressed as he was in his rubber maid's dress.

For me it was pure horror to hear Her final conclusion about Her poor little ex and the worth of a sissy in general: No sissy ever could be seen as a real man since their only interest would be for their dresses and lingerie and lipsticks! But if She wanted to be with a Man She of cause would expect Him to be a real Stud and not just a submissive lady's maid with an oversized clitoris! So from Her point of view it was absolutely clear that She never ever would let any further sissy into Her house! And with this She did look at me sternly and asked me in what category i would fall? Judging from my pretty quick tongue and my obvious lack of Male stamina wouldn't it be more appropriate for me to wear a cute little dress and prissy panties instead of my male trousers?

Oh, how happy would i have been if i would have had the possibility to answer: "Oh yes, Mistress! Please let me be Your little sissy maid!" But i knew that i couldn't do so. And as well i couldn't tell Her that i could act as a real Man from now on. So i simply had to stayed quiet and i know that She could see the deep fear and submissiveness in my eyes. And She knew that i just had confirmed Her open suspicion about my own sissy nature and that it was my part to bear the consequences and to leave Her house.

This had been my experience with Mistress Petra. And even if it did last one single day and night it gave me another important lecture about my true nature. As Slave Kris had told in his comment to the my previous post i indeed have had a lot of ups and downs while looking for my appropriate place and role. And of cause it is a very good and helpful thing to find the right person. But there is another lesson every little sissy has to learn on her own: That she needs to accept her true nature and at she has to be true to be really accepted by others.

i always have felt that the ups in my live have been worth all the grief and pain in between. But if i really think about the downs i have to tell that especially these had been necessary for me to find my very own way. i had to learn to accept my natural sissyness and as well i have learned that i could find satisfaction in being humiliated and teased. It confirms me in being a sissy since even strange people are able to see how feminized i really am. Yes, i really love to be this feminized little sissy moan. And even if most people around indeed aren't as open minded as i would like them to be it is really, really worth to be truthful and to be noticed by all those who are able to understand.

the truth is in me

2009-08-23T05:46:00.000-07:00

Being dropped by Miss Gunilla now i once again felt so hopeless and helpless that i thought i would have die from pain. i had gone from heaven to hell and being a sissy i knew that i really needed to be with a Woman again to survive ... and i needed to be with a Woman as soon as possible! Yes, no matter how painful and humiliating it had been to be made a cuckold and how likely it would be dropped once again it was so much better than to be alone in my sissy desperation. And i realized that if i wanted to be with a Woman i seriously had to think about my own needing and my sexuality in general:

i had heard from Miss Gunilla that it had taken less two months until Miss Tasha had begun to flirt with real Men and to treat me as Her devoted little cuckold for more than a year. And it was pretty obvious to me that Miss Gunilla was absolutely right with Her interpretation that it hadn't been Miss Tasha's fault but mine: Being a real Woman She simply had needed a real Man and i had been much too sissy to satisfy Her...

Then i had become Mistress Gunilla's little pet and i had been allowed to stay with Her for almost three and a half years. Yes, there had been some very embarrassing details resulting from my very own lack of being a true Male. But on the other hand i had to realize that it was my old friend Lee alone who had made O/our relationship so satisfying and stable: Of cause i had been pretty nervous first that He would become angry seeing me being cuddled and fondled by His own Girlfriend. But since Miss Gunilla used to show Him that i was just Her little sissy pet and not Her real Lover Lee never ever had become angry with me. Having been a witness of my deepest sissy humiliation He simply knew that i respected Him as well as my Superior and that He alone was allowed to have intercourse with Miss Nilla while i had to put my clitty into some pretty panties to find relief ... And yes, Miss Nilla also had told Him that it weren't Her panties i was used to spurt into but the most delicate panties of my own Mommy only!

Yes, Lee obviously had no problems to see me as just His Girlfriend's pet dog and as long as He stayed with Her W/we indeed had a very stable and satisfying relationship. But then Lee had left and i had to serve a new role being Miss Gunilla's one and only "lover". And even when She granted me to become Her obedient little son i couldn't do anything else but to follow my true sissy nature. So once again it had taken just a few weeks until "my Mommy" began to date with real Men and a few months until She decided to drop me like Miss Tasha had done...

i was twenty-five years old now and for the first time of my live i began to regret that i was the sissy. If i would have been a real girl it would have been pretty easy to live as a real Lesbian. Or being a Woman i maybe wouldn't even have this preference for Women and would love to submit to one of those gorgeous Studs all around me... And the more i did think about being a real Woman the more often i had to imagine how it might be to lay under a real Man and to feel His Cock gliding in and out of my own burning pussy...

And then i realized that if i really wanted to be an obedient little daughter for my Mommy dearest it was just too fair to submit to my Daddy dearest as well. Yes, it really would have been the perfect solution from my oedipal triangle to become my Daddy's obedient sissy as well. And being His slut i for sure wouldn't have hesitated to please His desire and to make Him enjoy each and every benefit of my sissy nature.

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Just a little bit later i felt sexual attracted to the images of real Male bodies and whenever i saw an erected Cock or a Cock that was covered with fresh Cum i seriously felt the need to take Him into my mouth and to lick up and swallow all of His Male body fluid. But looking around at all these vanilla relationships i really couldn't see anyone who was able to fill my Mommy's and my sweet Daddy's place. And being just a weak little coward i felt much to embarrassed to show my true sissy nature to Those who indeed might have been good Step-Parents.

Miss Gunilla - the legal heiress of Mommy

2009-07-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

The time with Miss Gunilla and Lee for sure has been the most humiliating time in my live and to tell the truth i would have given everything if i would have been able to make it lasting for ever. But when Mistress Nilla began to study psychology and moved into another town - with me as Her devoted pet of cause - Lee began to look for other Women and soon They departed.

Now it was just me and Mistress Gunilla and more and more i had to perform the duties Lee used to have. And no matter how small my clitty was She now really wanted me to put it into Her Womanhood but of cause i couldn't ever become as stiff and big as She needed to be satisfied.

It was then that i took together my whole sissy courage to confess to Her how sensually i desired my own Mommy and that indeed i was used to masturbate at least twice a day while i would dream about having real sex with Her. But Miss Gunilla wasn't shocked just little bit. Being a little bit taller and as well stronger than me She instead took me up like a little girl and carried me to O/our bed where She removed my pants again and took my little clitty out of its delicate panties. And then Mistress Nilla began to masturbate me very gently until She had made me aroused enough to tell Her each and every detail of my most incestuous fantasies and memories.

She hold me in my arousal for maybe more than an hour and in the end i was totally lost in Her fullest affection. She called me a "poor little sissy" and praised me for being such a sweet and loving child for my dearest Mommy. And then She really encourages me to ask my Mommy simply and frankly whether She as well would like to have real intercourse with me: Couldn't it be possible that indeed She would love to hear me begging for Her physical attention? And that She would love to remove my clothes so i really would be allowed to slip my little clitty straight into Her maternal Temple of Love?

Just the purest thought of having maybe a real incest with my Mommy used to give me the hardest little stiffy at an instance. And while Mistress Gunilla now pulled me close to Herself and right between Her thighs She actually ordered me to imagine that She would be my real Mommy dearest and that the coitus W/we would have now would be nothing else but a real incest.

i came within minutes and i hadn't even to close my eyes to be able to pour all the sissy cream i had right between "Mommy's" hot thighs. And after this very first orgasm right into Her maternal Pussy Mistress Gunilla used to use my incestuous desire again and again to bring me to reliable stiffness and to feel at least my little clitty coming into Her glowing Slit.

From there on i was allowed to spend some very delightful months being buried in the hot and silky Vagina of my dearest Mommy. But no matter how excited and stiff my little clitty now was i of cause couldn't ever give Her the full satisfaction She would have got from a real Man. And the more often She used to order me to be Her little sonny again and spurt my sissy cream right into Her Womanhood the more She had to realize that i became Her devoted little sissy son in O/our real live as well. Soon She only began to see me as a real little child that needed to be dominated. And being used to be the little sissy of my very own Mommy before i was just too willing to submit since with Gunilla as my Mommy it included to be taken sexually as well.

Unfortunately for me Miss Gunilla's interest in O/our kind of relationship used to fade with the time so a little bit later She began to look for a real Man with a real Cock again. i tried to convince Her by becoming more and more devoted and cute for Her but the more submissive and sissy i behaved the more often She used to spend Her nights with real Men in O/our bed while i had to sleep on the couch next door. No, it really wasn't that She immediately dropped me: Being still Her obedient sissy "son" i of cause was good enough to lick Her maternal Pussy whenever She wanted. And again it was me then once that She demanded me to do this when She had been with one of Her Lovers before.

But then finally Miss Gunilla found a new Boyfriend and with this my days had been counted. Being put of from Her for so long now i immediately felt what was coming and the only way i saw to convince Her was to tell Her that from now on i really wanted to wear pretty dresses an lingerie all the time to show Her my absolute obedience. And that no matter where we would be or who might be around i would be too glad to be treated as Her most submissive sissy gurl and daughter and to show the whole world how eagerly i would submit into the role of Her little pet and lap lapper.

To show Her how serious i was i began to slip into my little nighties whenever W/we went to bed and to snuggle up to Her like a real little girl whenever She needed to hold a tender body. And of cause i was just too eager to wear just the cutest lingerie with bras and girdles and stockings and even high heels and dresses during the day and to crawl under Her shirts and worship Her wonderful Pussy whenever She seemed to need a little bit relief. But finally there was really nothing that could help.

About six weeks later it turned out that Miss Nilla had become pregnant by Him. And having a REAL family in Her mind She of cause didn't wanted to keep a little toy like me: i had proven that i wasn't Man enough to have real Virile sex with Her. And She definitely didn't see any reason to keep an "incestuous" relation with the little sissy boy i still was for my real Mommy!

Miss Gunilla's little pet

2009-07-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

Miss Gunilla made me Her little pet and plaything two or three weeks after Miss Tasha had told me Her last "good bye sissy". i had visited Her that Tuesday afternoon to talk about my still deep devotion to Tasha. Once again She told me that i simply should accept my fate: Tasha was with Tom now and more then once She had told Gunilla how satisfied She now was to have a Boyfriend with a Cock so much bigger and stronger than mine. Telling me about Their conversation Gunilla became curious whether Tasha had been right with my size. And so absolutely frankly Gunilla asked me whether i would have this tiny and impotent clitty Tasha used to tell about. i just blushed like an innocent little girl and Gunilla told me that there should be nothing to be ashamed: some Women indeed would have an inclination to play with such cute little clitties ... and to tell the truth She would be one of Them!

And then Miss Gunilla came over to me and without any further word She opened my pants and pulled them down to uncover that delicate panties and the thick sanitary napkins of my Mommy i was wearing therein. Totally caught between my greatest hope and devotion and my deepest embarrassment i wasn't able to make even the slightest move to stop Her making me Her little toy. And She just smiled and said: "How sweet...! I just hope you don't have your menstruation right now!" before She went on to pull my panties down as well and to take my little clitty into Her mouth...

i was totally lost at an instance! i submitted into Her wonderful Dominance and Female Superiority and i agreed to be Her little sissy pet for just as long as She wanted to play with me. i couldn't spend one single thought for Lee who was not just Her Boyfriend but my best friend as well. It was Her wish to own me and to play with me and being just a little sissy who was i to reject a true Mistress?

With my clitty softly suckled by Miss Nilla i became almost lunatic of lust and for the very first time when i was together with a Woman i got a real little stiffy. But of cause my sissy clitty was not the main point of Her interest. And so when She saw and of cause felt that was pretty close for coming and fully in Her hands She just stopped to suck me and send me down between Her thighs to have Her revenge.

In the following days it turned out that Gunilla indeed never ever had planned to leave Lee just to be together with me. He was Her Lover and real Man and i was the little devoted pet She liked to play with. Yes, She really liked to fondle and to stroke and to cuddle me like a little dog. And if She was in the mood for a little bit fun She didn't even hesitate to pull down my pants and panties once more and to play with my tiny clitty until i finally had to come directly into Her hand or over Her thighs and sheer stockings ... and to avoid any further mess i of cause had to lick up my own sissy cream after it just like i was expected to lick Her wonderful Pussy when She used to have real intercourse with Lee.

It was probably one of my most humiliating experiences with Miss Gunilla and for sure a real tipping point in my sissy life – with my deepest curtsey for Miss D – when She pretty soon did this the very first time when W/we weren't alone but together with Lee. i remember so well how reluctant i felt and that i really begged Her to stop humiliating me. But She insisted to go on with it and simply told me that it would be for my very own best: It for sure would make Her relationship with Lee stronger when He as well could see how tiny i was even with a little stiffy. So He could see with His own eyes that i really couldn't ever be a challenge to His Male Dominance and He would agree that She could keep me as Her little pet and sissy toy...!

Miss Gunilla and Lee

2009-07-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

Unlike Her pretty petite and dark haired friend Natasha Miss Gunilla was the Scandinavian type of a Woman and with almost 5' 11'' height not just nine inches taller than Tasha but an inch taller than me as well. And wearing Her usual heels of two inches to be eye in eye with Her Boyfriend Lee She used to look down onto me whenever Natasha and i were with Her.

i knew Miss Nilla for a rater long time since Lee had been my high school comrade for years now. And when He came together with Gunilla He began to spend most of His time with Her and i was allowed to company Them.

It was about two months after Miss Tasha had made me Her slave that i had the opportunity to get a very first sexual view at Gunilla. Miss Tasha and i had rented a holyday flat in the south and of cause Miss Gunilla and Lee came along for three days. W/we had just one room to share and so our guests did spend the night in the second bed right next to O/ours. And there right in the very first night i had to hear that Miss Nilla began to have petting with Lee and when They were obviously very hot for each other She didn't hesitate to ask Him to fuck Her. And that indeed He did!

Laying just two yard away from Them i had to hear everything: each little squeak of Their bed that was caused by Their moving bodies and as well each little moan and whimpering tat was caused by Their uncovered lust. Yes, i have to confess that it made me pretty aroused to hear Them and when i couldn't stand the temptation anymore to look over and to watch i could see Their bodies moving under the blanket in the pale light of the room.

Of cause Miss Tasha had heard Them as well and when She now was looking at me i could tell from Her eyes that She as well wanted to be fucked right here and now. But no matter how excited i was at this moment i couldn't deny my true sissy nature. Being fully and totally used to fondle my tiny clitty with a cute pair of panties to become at least a little bit stiff i definitely wasn't able to produce a noticeable "erection". And to be also pretty nervous that Gunilla and Lee might hear U/us having sex as well made it even worse. So when Miss Tasha who now had begun to wank my clitty couldn't feel any response of my sexual arousal She just throw me a heavy reproaching look and turned around to leave me alone with my deep shame and guilt. And in the bed just next to me Miss Gunilla and Lee did enjoy at least two or three orgasms.

i was waked up at the early next morning by Gunilla and Lee who had just another good and deep fuck. i felt too embarrassed to disturb Them so i just waited until i could hear Them coming to another mutual climax. A few minutes later then They stood up and went to the bathroom to have a shower. When They noticed that i indeed wasn't sleeping anymore They smiled and greeted just as if nothing had happened. And obviously They didn't see any reason to be ashamed of Their nude bodies and the fact that They had sex a few minutes ago.

Both of Them looked absolutely satisfied and calm but a little bit messed up at the same time. And then i couldn't help but to look at Lee's Cock and despite the fact that it had become "small" again it was still so much bigger than my tiny little clitty if she becomes stiff. Yes, i know i have told that Tom's Cock might be double as big as my clitty and being double as long and thick He must have had eight [!] times my weight when erected. But this was erected and judging from the size of Lee's now "small" Cock He must have at least Tom's size but probably more and at this moment it was glistening from Their mixed juices. And then, yes, it was moving like a big and strong snake and i caught myself wishing to touch Him and to feel His amazing strength.

i was so fascinated that i didn't notice that Gunilla had caught my view and when i was now looking over to Her Pussy it was still open and leaking from His sperm. Then, suddenly alarmed i looked up and had to realize that Gunilla eyes were lasting at me as well and that She had noticed how curiously i had been starring at Lee's Cock and Her Cunt. And when i now guilty was looking at Her i noticed a strange beam in Her eyes telling me from an almost motherly affection and a gorgeous Female Dominance and Superiority at the same time. She knew that i was a most submissive sissy and She knew that She would be able do with me whatever She wanted.

Miss Tasha and Tom

2009-07-25T05:20:00.001-07:00

It was during a holyday trip to Denmark with some of our friends that Miss Tasha finally gave my very low self-esteem Her coup de grace. Like i was used to do i was gone to bed about an hour before Her. Being well informed about Her behavior by Miss Gunilla i of cause was pretty sure that She used to use this time to flirt with our Male friends or even to have a little bit necking and light petting with Them. But at this evening it became even worse.

When Natasha finally liked to follow me into our bedroom She wasn't alone. With Her was Tom one of the guys of our group She pretty obviously was having a strong interest for. And more than once She had told me bald blank that He was so much more Male than me and that She would love to have a boyfriend like Him.

They were standing right in front of the bed where i was laying when Miss Tasha gave Him a very long and deep kiss. And then, while She was still kissing Him She began to undress. i hardly couldn't believe my eyes when She really stripped completely naked. When She was She stop for a moment to have a look into His eyes and to make sure that He not just would have a good look at Her wonderful body but that He as well understood what She wanted Him to do. And i could see in Their eyes that They both did agree that it was now to do the unavoidable.

Now Miss Tasha pretty seductively began to open His pants and while He quickly removed His t-shirt "my" Mistress slipped His trousers down to His knees... And it was absolutely not to miss that He by now had the biggest Erection waiting for Her in His boxer shorts.

He was huge! And now that the boxers were gone as well i was starring at His oh so wonderful demanding Cock just as if i would be a virgin sitting in the show of the Chippendales. i was totally fascinated and i'm pretty sure that i wouldn't have had the strength to resist if He just would have told me to suck His Cock...

But of cause He belonged to Miss Tasha and it was She alone He wanted to take His waiting virile lust. And it was just too obvious that Miss Tasha had intended to let Him do just this. It was She who had the full control over this situation and it was She who tugged Him to the bed and pushed Him down onto the sheets where i was laying. He was just a few inches away and i could feel His full physical presence that was telling me that He without any doubt was the Alpha Male and i just an inferior part of His herd. And so totally horrified i had to watch when Miss Tasha didn't hesitate a moment to straddle His lap and to guide His beautiful Rod right into Her sweet and soft Pussy.

i was totally embarrassed and helpless with desperation while looking at His Shaft moving straight into Her Slit i really couldn't avoid to become aroused myself. And it was even more embarrassing to feel my clitty growing at this sight and to cry for the touch of some pretty panties while the Mistress was riding Tom's very big Member.

i knew that i was much to weak to resist my own sissy desire that was stimulated by this view. It irresistibly drove me to follow my true nature and habit to take Tasha's panties and to milk my crying clitty into the silky fabric. And i knew that by showing Them the full truth about me i would submit into the deepest sissy humiliation: Tom would see that even being fully aroused my little clitty wasn't just half as big and strong as His wonderful Cock that was now in Mistress Tasha. And by fitting into my deviated sexuality and pandering myself right here in front of Them not just Natasha but He as well would see that i was willing to submit to Their full Superiority and sissified enough to accept Him as the new Master for the rest of my sissy live!

Feeling this i was absolutely transfixed and unable to make any move. i just stayed in our bed right next to Them and couldn't take my eyes away from Them while Miss Tasha just throw me a very disparaging look and began to ride Him even harder. And then They both began to come to the climax and i was full of love and adoration when They both did reach orgasm and He obviously pumped gallons of sperm into Tasha's wonderful wet and glowing Womanhood.

It took Her maybe two or three minutes to come back to consciousness a little bit. And while She seemed to love to feel Him still inside Her and to stay sitting straddled on His Cock She with another very disparaging beam in Her eyes looked down onto me once again: Whether it would make me hot to watch other people having sex She asked me with a pretty contemptuous voice. Then for sure i as well couldn't wait to beg Her to lick Her Pussy, could i? And before i was able just to think about it She told me how pathetic and ridiculous i would be and that She would be glad to have Tom for Her Lover.

After this evening She put me off for some weeks while She used to make obvious sexual advances to Him and to have petting just in front of my eyes whenever He was willing to answer Her offers. Only later i understood that She already had asked Him to become Her regular Boyfriend and when He finally said Yes She did drop me so fast that i didn't realized the full meaning. She only told me a "bye sissy" and turned around to Tom again. And before i even had the time to collect my last belongings She already had slipped out of Her panties again and opened Tom's jeans to guide His big and throbbing Member into Her most adorable Cunt. And the last thing i was seeing from Her was Her gorgeous and nude Bottom peeking up under the hem of Her black mini dress. And it was moving up and down in total devotion in order to milk all of His sperm from the beautiful Cock He had to offer.

Serving Miss Tasha - deflowering a sissy

2009-07-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

Being raised to be Her devoted little girly i was absolutely fixated on my Mommy. So espite the fact that there have been several gorgeous Girls in my class i would have loved to be with or even better to be one of Them it took more than twenty years of my live that my Mommy was the One and Only Woman i really wanted to serve and to be near with.

During all those years i build up my own "secret" collection of Her lingerie and from the age of twelve i was used to wear Her panties, bras, nighties and stockings on an almost daily basis. Yes, my whole sexuality was to dream about my Mommy and to wank into a pair of Her panties and i was so absolutely obsessed with my dearly beloved and so sexy Mommy that i had to fondle my little clitty really each minute i was able to and i had to bring myself to the climax at least three or four times a day.

Until now i hadn't realized that in addition to my very strong incestuous and of cause transvestite disposition i as well had developed a heavy submissive and fetishistic deviation. But then i met Miss Natasha and with Her i had the luck to enter a new and even more severe stage of humiliation and sissification.

Telling from today it was probably the purest luck that all my later "Girlfriends" actually found a method to ruin every little approach of me just to ignore my sexual perversion or to tell Them how sissy i am. None of Them used to have an explicit tendency for Female Domination but still each of Them turned out to be far stronger than me and each of Them found Her very own way to dominate, to humiliate and to frustrate me.

Miss Tasha was sixteen - four year younger than me - when Her friend Gunilla arranged our first contact ... and for sure She had the sweetest Pussy i was ever expected to lick until this day. Yes, She still had the most delicious Slit and also the pretty face and the delicate stature of an innocent child. But as well She had the exciting behavior and the mercurial dominance of a real Lolita. She was so absolutely fresh and adorable that i hardly could believe that She wanted to be with me. But being raised as a single child She was used to be Daddy's little Princess and to get everything She wanted and whenever She insisted to have an erotic affair with somebody there was really no way to evade Her desire.

It took Her one single day to make me Her devoted slave. And despite or most probably because i used to be so uncertain when we went to bed She soon could do with me whatever She wanted: Being actually unable to get the slightest erection even in spite of my desperate attempts i was willing to serve Her in each and every way just to keep the wonderful privilege to look into Her beautiful eyes, to kiss Her sweet lips, to breathe Her mind-blowing scent and to taste Her delicious skin.

And i was just too glad that She really insisted that i gave Her all these endless sexual duties i was dedicated to give Her. Following nothing else but Her orders i was not just allowed but expected to touch Her tender body and to suck and lick Her cute little tits just like Her marvelous slit or even Her soft bottom crack over hours and hours of unremitting petting. And it seemed to be totally insignificant that i couldn't use my own "little clitty" to take Her and to penetrate Her like a real Man would have done.

It was a stab into my heart when Gunilla took me aside a little bit later to tell me that Tasha wasn't as half as satisfied as i had assumed. And with a malicious smile She reported that Miss Tasha had begun to tell everybody we knew how tiny and totally impotent my little clitty was and how inadequate, yes sissy my sexual performance in general would be. And She as well didn't hesitate to tell me that Natasha clearly showed Her interest not just to flirt with "other" Men but to find somebody who was really able to fuck Her...!

i felt so absolutely shocked and hurt and humiliated that i almost began to cry. Being a real sissy in my heart i hadn't dared to tell Her about my deviated sexuality. But this obviously hadn't helped to keep it a secret. Miss Tasha had noticed my nature very soon and of cause She had chosen to do what each Woman has every right to do: She had begun to look for the attention real Men again. And by now there wasn't anything i could do: Miss Tasha had become the One and Only center of my existence and i definitely felt absolutely unable to be without Her. So i just gave up my role as Her "boyfriend" and fit into my new but also well known role as Her devoted sissy cuckold.

In fact there has been just one single occasion that Miss Tasha really wanted to put my clitty into Her oh so tight Womanhood since my clitty seemed to be stiff enough to do so. It was one morning when i had a wonderful dream about Mommy. In this dream i was standing in the middle of our living room - i of cause was still living with my Parents for a rather long time - and i was wearing noting else but a sheer baby doll nighty of my Mommy as well as Her stockings and high heels.

Just in front of me and dressed just the same was standing my highest Goddess and most adored Superior: It was Mistress Mommy Herself and She not just wanted to have sex with me but She really got it on with me. And with this i slipped into Her Vagina and back into Her body only to feel that my soul was completely in Her motherly body. i could feel Her delicate nighty touching my skin and my nipples and i could feel my own Pussy melting between my most feminine thighs. And then i opened my eyes and it was Her body and Her breasts and hands that i saw looking down. And with this i was so absolutely aroused that i began to rub Her and my very own Clitty and to push my fingers into my hot and very wet Womanhood. And within just a few minutes i was allowed to reach the most satisfying orgasm in my live...

No wonder that when i woke up my real sissy clitty was as "big" and stiff as she only could be. Compared to a real Man this of cause wasn't very much. But it was enough for Miss Tasha to straddle me and to bring my peenie into the proper position for a good ride. But without any prelude Her wonderful love channel was not just too tight but as well much too dry to take me up into Her womb. And since She obviously didn't want to miss this opportunity She simply pushed even harder and harder against my poor little clitty. And suddenly there was a jerk and a rip and i easily slipped as deep as i am build into Her Womanhood...

i felt a little bit confused and worried but as well absolutely relieved. Now, at this very moment, was able to use my clitty like a real Man! It was She of cause who had taken me but i could feel my "cock" gliding easily forth and back in Her by now very, very wet and most pleasurable sex. i did feel the wonderful strong grip of Her Vaginal muscles moving up and down and then i felt my cock twitching and throbbing and i felt flushed by a wave of the greatest satisfaction that i could have imagined: Now, after all those years of playing just with myself i was really allowed and particularly able to come into the Vagina of a real Woman! And i shoot all the sissy cream i was capable to produce.

But when we finally parted i had to realize that it was me once again who had fit into the role of a true sissy gurl and it was me who had changed from a virgin into a freshly deflowered girl: There on the sheets where i was laying was really a lot of fresh blood but it was coming from my sex and not from Her! Miss Tasha indeed had mounted me so forcefully and violently that the small band between my glans and foreskin had been torn and it has been my own blood that had made Miss Tasha's Vagina so wonderful wet and slippery.

It needed a pretty embarrassing medical treatment to stop the bleeding of my little clitty and a quite long time of reconvalescence until i was able to perform my habitual play with my panties again. And of cause after this incident it had become just self-defeating to think about another intercourse with Miss Tasha or any other Woman hereafter. my clitty really seemed to have learned that she was way to tender to be used like a real cock and from now on she uses to stay soft in front of a Woman no matter how very aroused i might be. And from that day on i have to be very, very tender and gentle with my clitty and to fondle her with a delicate pair of panties just to persuade her to become a little bit trusting and a little bit stiff so i am able to produce my most pathetic sissy cream.

About the First Mistress

2009-07-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

i guess my sissification was sealed at the day my Mommy conceived me by the love of my Daddy. With my brother Hank, two years older than me, my Parents had hoped for a little girl next. But then, unfortunately, i was born as a genetic son. Of cause They felt rather disappointed and following Her natural dominant impulse my Mommy insisted that She had wanted a daughter. She couldn't change my sex, She said, but as well She wouldn't feel obliged by it. And despite of my apparent gender She decided, that i would become Her sweet little darling anyway.

So my Mom not only made me Her little Mommy's boy, She also treated me like a girl and taught me to behave like a girl. It was out of question that i always had to wear ruffled baby's panties and matching little girls dresses to show that i was a little girl and not a boy, and also i had to develop all the feminine virtues like tender- and tidiness or caution and obedience.

About three years later my Mommy got pregnant again and again my Parents did hope for a girl. But then She gave birth to another boy, Gerry, and with this my fate was definitely sealed. Now She taught me to be absolutely obsequious to Her and that's why i'm sure that i never had a chance to become anything else but Her obedient little sissy. i had to fulfill all the duties Her daughter would have and of cause it was She Herself who now introduced me into the most intimate mysteries of Womanhood.

i adored everything at Her - the smell of Her perfume and the rustling of Her lingerie as well as Her sensual motions, the occasional views at Her delicate body and the promising flashing of Her feminine and not at all just maternal tenderness. Yes, i did everything to get close to Her magic, and She did tease me but also support me in my feminized way of feeling really all the time. Shortly around: i desired my Mommy for Her whole Femininity and She obviously did love and used to become really aroused by my most submissive attention. But again and again i could see that it was my Daddy or sometimes one of Her Male or Female Friends who She seemed to prefer to be with Her when my Mommy had to have a little rest once again and to withdraw into Her bedroom...

Yes, indeed: it has been my own Mommy who did raise me to become the most submissive little sissy i am today. If i follow my Analyst - and You will see that i love to follow Her arguments - i have to state that my Mommy used to follow Her very own motives on making me a little sissy. Motives that for sure have been nurtured by Her very own erotic preferences and the preferences of my own Daddy just as well. Yes, i have to state that They obviously loved to use me as Their or Their Guests little appetizer and that They loved to make me a true little sissy to enrich Their own sexual play.

But NO! It is NOT that They directly involved me into Their parental acts of making love! And of cause They didn't train me to have anal intercourse or to perform fellatio and cunnilingus like a real sissy bitch. But for sure They didn't refuse me when i wanted to cuddle with Them ... and i remember as well that i used to have pretty strong sexual feelings even at this very young age.

So it is truly not that i haven't been able to say No when my Mommy and Daddy wanted me to be Their pretty little gurl again. But i guess i have to confess that pretty often it has been me who wanted to learn more about Their way of taking care for each other. And being used to be treated as Their sissy daughter and to show Them all my sissy feelings and my childish curiosity for Their kind of love it was me who wanted to play O/our sweet little games again and again and to be treated as a real sissy slut.

Of cause i have to agree with my Analyst that this situation as well was rather abusive. my Parents definitely had Their very special fun when i used to react like the eager little sissy They so carefully had trained me to be. And for sure i agree that it is not just wrong but a crime if Adults get Their sexual kick by treating a child like Their devoted little sex toy. But on the other hand i know that it was me who used to beg for more and that i really wanted to be the little sissy They used to see in me. So even if i know that it wasn't quite correct what They did i also know that in the end They just helped me to find my true sissy nature.

Yes, my Mommy definitely had the greatest influence in my sissification and i remember some very intimate acts with Her and my Daddy when i was a little bit grown up. But despite of all this i can't feel any anger for my Parents. They just did what i really wanted Them to do. And to tell the full truth i for sure would have become Their devoted little fuck slut if They really would have forgotten Their parental duty. In fact i still can't feel anything else but the deepest love and erotic devotion for my Parents. And whenever i'm aroused and in my 'sissy slut delirium' i feel really thankful that They didn't hesitated to teach me and train me the one and only way that really fit: the way into my irrevocable sissification.

So yes, considering my own childhood i know that i can't tell the details of my Mommy's and Daddy's involvement. It's probably too easy to misunderstand Their love. i really love Them and i don't want to cause any problems. And i love to know that it has been my very own Mommy who i have to praise as the first Mistress of my sissy live.